Previous post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/w9l35u/myf19_teacherm45_asked_me_whether_i_would_like_to/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

So, I did say No and He isn’t really taking no as an answer. I mentioned that it would make me uncomfortable to break the student-teacher boundaries. He told me not to worry about it since he wouldn’t be teaching us for the 3rd semester.
He told me if I’m uncomfortable going out(because I’m quite shy and introverted) I can come over to his place(I’M NOT GOING TO).
Do I keep telling him no?

EDIT: He called me a while ago and asked me where I would like to go and have I changed my mind? I told No and asked him to stop pestering me about this. He got pretty annoyed by that and told me that he has been nothing but nice to me these months he has been teaching us and has been helping me with assignments and work exclusively. What more could I want? And can’t I do this as a favour.
I told I don’t want to and he said I’m making a mistake and hung up.

I don’t know how to feel about it but I have a feeling he isn’t going to leave me alone idk. And thank you everyone for advice and support

49 comments

  1. Tell him no and if he continues report him. Make sure to keep any sort of text as proof.

  2. Do you have proof? He’s really not taking no for an awnser, I’d honestly report him to his superiors before he gets worse or ends up praying on someone who doesn’t know how to say no.

  3. I would honestly tell him a firm no again and if he continues then you have no problem reporting him for harassing you. And keep any sort of text messages as evidence.

  4. Talk to your parents and have them tell him no. If you have evidence of him asking, show that to your parents too.

  5. That’s creepy af and gross and a complete abuse of power. If you don’t want to go then absolutely keep telling him no.

  7. If he keeps bothering you, maybe you should tell the dean or whoever. He should stop at that. Anything beyond that is harassment.

  8. KEEP ALL PROOF AND RUN if he tries anything, report him for harrassement

  9. You can report him to the police if he continues to harass you. I’d tell him that’s what you’ll do if he doesn’t back off immediately. If he gets a record for sexually harassing his student he won’t be able to work anywhere so he should take it seriously.

  11. Report him, make it as public as possible if you feel safe (print the conversation and put them in the school, keeping them anonymous).

    Even if the teacher is friend with the principal once it’s under the public eye it will be harder for them to dismiss the accusations.

  12. Just keep telling him no. I would be more vocal about it but I understand that you’re not comfortable with that route.

    Keep saying no, don’t be alone with him. Tell him you’re busy, just keep rejecting him

  14. Despite his connections, (and probably more so BECAUSE of his connections) his actions need to be reported.

    That being said, I can 100% understand why you’re reluctant to do so if you feel that the administration will be dismissive of your claim. Could you make enquiries with any of the student welfare organisations at the uni to see if they can support you with the pricess?

  15. You report him to the school. He’s crossed the line into harassment by repeatedly ignoring your No.

    Eta: tell him you aren’t interested and that he needs to stop contacting you then stop replying to his texts. Just ignore them. Avoid any situation where you have to be alone with him.

  18. No!!! He’s old and a teacher and it’s just creepy! It’s totally inappropriate! Thank him for the offer and tell him that you are focusing on yourself and your schoolwork.

  19. My dear. Please stay as far away from him as you can. Report him if you can. His behavior is not acceptable in any way. If nothing else, he is a creep.

  20. Tell the principal and your parents. That would help him understand your no a lot faster.

  21. Professor here: report him. If you can’t go to the dept head, go up the chain to the next administrator. If there’s no report, he’ll just do it to someone else. Oh, and make some noise online. Rate my Professor, Twitter, etc. And good for you sticking up for yourself. Good luck!

  22. Go to the father the department head. Show him the text messages. Say if he does not stop I will make sure this is blasted all over social media as creepy behavior and make sure incoming students know about this. That will force both of them to back off. Ask also to change classes or receive a full refund for the class, and it not go against you.

    I am close to his age and that is gross, highly inappropriate, and taking advantage of his position. Do what I said, and make sure he is aware you are serious about putting this out there.

  24. Screenshot everything and REPORT HIM! This will not stop and you are probably not the only one. This man is a predator and shouldn’t be teaching. File a report with your schools Board of Education, you should be able to google them to find your specific one if you’re in the US.

  25. He is being inappropriate an unethical. You need to report him to your school/university.

  27. There should be protocols for this situation at the college. Find out what they are and deal with him that way. I wouldn’t keep accepting his calls, the more you talk to him the more he’ll feel he can talk you into it. Keep in mind he’s done this with other girls and will continue until you stop him. Follow the procedures of reporting him, if they do nothing go to the top and threaten to tell the press and that you have proof. This is a very bad man who needs to be stopped

  28. I am from India, get the acreenahots and audio, go to the Department head, go to the principal they would have to kick him out, upload those screenshots and audio on college website,
    One of my teacher wrote a love letter to a student, the moment this word got out, he was shamed Publically.

  29. Gather all the evidence you can maybe record audio of him asking you out, and go to the police or your parents. Don’t let the teachers handle it.

  32. Keep track of every interaction and if you can, download a recording app to record your phone calls. Also, see if you can get a restraining order. Contact the Dean’s office and let them know what’s happening. Show them the receipts. I would hate to see something happen to you. Please keep us updated.

  33. This infuriates me. This is gaslighting and grooming; making you feel like you owe him and he’s only being nice to you.

    NO.

    The teacher-student boundary can’t be breached. Also, you have already said you’re uncomfortable with this. Please listen to your feelings and keep saying no. Let your parents know what’s going on. Cheating on an exam would be a smaller matter comparing to a teaching trying to have a unprofessional relationship with a student. Not to mention he’s FORTY-FIVE (not that age is a problem when it’s a consensual relationship but you’ve already said you’re uncomfortable).

    I also suggest you listening to the podcast Betrayal. It’s about a woman finding out her husband having an affair with his student but it was mostly developed in a similar situation as yours(grooming, building a false sense of trust, overstepping boundaries, guilt tripping).

    Please save all the evidence you can and stay strong. You didn’t do anything wrong to deserve this or owe him anything even as small as a coffee date.

  35. Name and shame him in the news. Anonymously send in those messages because you are probably not the first or last person he will do this too.

    I understand that you might not want to ruin anybodys life but he could get to somebody who is in a bad place and really hurt them.

  36. Easy answer. Report him to the principal or superintendent. You are probably not the only one he has done this too. I wouldn’t put it past him to go after current underage students and other former students.

  37. You need to stop taking his calls!!

    Tell your friends and never be alone with him!!

  39. So if you don’t feel comfortable reporting him, start asking other female students if he has asked them out. Also tell your parents, your school counselor, basically everyone. Say it matter of fact. So and so keeps asking me to meet him outside school. I’ve said no, and he keeps asking. How do I handle this?

  42. The age difference makes this a predatory relationship. Since he’s persistent, you need to be more forceful in your delivery. If he contacts you again tell him you aren’t interested in him. Say given that he isn’t respecting your decision, if he persists you will report him – not just to the school but to the authorities.

    You are saying no and a normal person would respect the No. He’s not respecting it because he is trying to manipulate you. He’s choosing to hear it’s no because he’s your teacher. If it’s really ok that he dates students, he wouldn’t be asking you to go privately to his home. That’s not about your comfort, it’s because it’s not cool. If it was he should have no issue walking across campus and walking into the Dean’s office , holdings your hand and publicly dating you

  43. Do you have an adult in your life whom you trust to take you seriously about this, not downplay it or blame you for this man’s advances? Make sure someone — a parent, aunt, uncle, trusted family friend — is aware of this situation. When someone won’t take no for an answer that is a huge red flag, especially given the wide difference in your ages. Let him know that other people are aware of his behavior with you.

  44. Report, Report, Report….on Monday call the administration office and ask them how to make a report of inappropriate behaviour by a teacher.

    Do it as soon as possible. Keep the texts as evidence and once the report is made block his number…

  45. Don’t ever be alone with this guy. His relentlessness and not taking no for an answer sounds like he’s very aggressive.

  46. Hes in a position of trust its illegal for him to date you.

    P.S if he keeps pestering you after you’ve said no, I recommend informing someone above him about what he is doing.

  47. Knew a girl that went through this and dude dumped her for an even younger girl after leeching her spirit oof

  48. Report him BEFORE he returns your graded paper, so you have proof on the record that he has been making unwanted advances on you which you have rebuked. Then be prepared to write to the dean again when Mr. Creepy Professor gives you a failing grade because you spurned his ego – appeal the grade and get your justly deserved mark. Good luck!

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