I’m always hearing these stories about mutual interest between a girl and a guy at the workplace, in a friends group, at uni, at classes like boxing, yoga or language etc

But I’ve actually never experienced this. I know a few guys here and there that do. And people I know always tell me they’ve met from social circles etc, but the idea to me is so fucking alien

31 comments
  1. Actually quite often, i think it also depends with whom you are spending this time and for how long…

  2. When I worked in an office, there was one girl who seemed to kind of like me, but it wasn’t mutual. That was maybe 5-6 years ago?

    Before that was maybe 5 years prior, in college.

    So I guess that’s roughly twice a decade.

  3. It’s happened several times for me – in a class, at work, through friends or a relative or at a social event for a hobby.

  4. Briefly worked with a woman who had been a cop.

    She told me the few car chase stories she had and reminisced about listening to Tech N9ne while sitting in the car during night shift.

    She was married (ofc), but if you’re that kind of person with those eyes, I mean…*damn*

  5. I’ve been married 10 years now (met online dating). But I had an incredibly good track record of meeting girls at bbqs and social gatherings at acquaintances houses. Over an 5 year period in my mid 20s it almost always led to a date.

  6. Interest like this doesn’t just happen out of the blue, you usually have to make some effort to get on their radar. For example, in college I’d survey the room carefully when selecting where to sit day 1 of the semester, and make sure I ended up beside a cute girl. Made it easy for such sort of interest to blossom.

  7. I have no idea if this was liking or not, but the few times I felt anything even remotely similar to this sensation is entering a new setting where I knew no one (like going to a mixer) and being in some way shape or form the “odd one out” — example, in college, joining a club where you were the only person that wasn’t a ____ major.

    That’s about it though and I’m not even sure if that was what you’re thinking of.

    Other than that, it’s totally alien to me as well.

  8. It never happens to me either. I’ve gotten the ball rolling a few times, but then as always something sabotages it. Like I’ll start getting friendly with a girl at work, but before it gets to the point where we start talking outside of work she’ll quit or someone’s schedule will change. Or I’ll hit it off with a friend of a friend, and then they’ll stop hanging out with each other.

  9. Very rarely. I’m always seen as the funny guy that can be counted on which I don’t mind but it happens so much that it’s getting harder and harder to have confidence in myself.

  10. I think once, and her and I dated for a few months. While I do not regret the way she relationship ended, nothing like that ever happened since then, five years ago.

  11. Twice. Both times hanging out and going out with a younger co-worker/closer acquaintance and meeting his female friends.

    Directly through my friends and acquaintances – zero. In a class – zero. Sports or other activities – zero.

  12. I honestly don’t know. I’m not the best at relationships and dealing with people. A sin, I know. I know I’m interested in one woman at work. If she’s interested in me, that would be very cool. But I hesitate to try and see as we both work there and we should both be able to work without having to be made uncomfortable by someone else’s interest.

  13. You guys are gonna hate me, but all the time. Even some of my friends gfs are into me. Last time i was at a bar i had to lost this 1 girl who liked me even though i told her i had a girlfriend right at the start.

  14. Never happend i’m 30, if you’re a above average looking guy get hit on might happen.

  15. Quite often, there’s rarely a time where there isn’t at least one girl I’m talking to with the potential of going somewhere. In the last year there’s been 3 at work

  16. it happens pretty often to me, and most of the time, the women who are interested in me, are conventionally attractive.

    Hit the gym, kid.

    If you have a muscular body but you still can’t get pussy, then you need to get plastic surgery to fix your face. Start saving up money.

  17. Usually any time I’m out with all male friends.

    In my experience women tend to only show overt interested when you don’t give them an excuse not to. Think about it…if there’s a woman in your group and a Stanger likes you why wouldn’t they assume you’re with her? And if its clear you’re not how do they know you’re not interested in that girl? And if you somehow make that clear how do they know that they’ll fit in with the sort of…type of woman you spend your time with?

    Both men and women do this. It’s social signaling. It’s like…if I see a group of girls with a guy there and they guy looks like a sports dude I’m going to think “well that’s the sort of dude they either like or want to spend time with…I’m not a sporty guy so not going to bother” even though you as a woman in that group might not care whether I like sports or not when I approach you.

    People attempt to identify the traits others desire based upon their presentation and who’s around them. So if you want more attention go out with friends of the same gender and then do something to stand out from your friends a little bit.

  18. The way you’re describing it the last time was three years ago so it happens very rarely.

  19. Hard to say, but often enough that I was only single for a total of about six months in twenty years once I started doing the whole ‘relationships’ thing.

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