I live with my 2 roommates in a house. My two roommates are married and they own the house we are in. Normally we don’t have many issues but recently they told me something that was somewhat of a surprise.
I’m single and go on a lot of dates, some go better than others. This one girl I’ve been seeing said she wanted to come over and watch a movie. I was like sure come on over, just gotta tell my roommates. So I go to tell them and they say no, she can’t come over because they are concerned for their safety and don’t like strangers over. They said they’d prefer I was in something committed before I bring someone over and to get an apartment if I’m gonna do things like that. And I’m like really? I realize I’m still getting to know this girl and idk everything about her but I think the risk of something happening is relatively low.
Not to mention that me and roommates are best friends and have known each other since Junior high. And we’re all in our late 20s early 30s. It just seems to me like they don’t trust my judgement.
What do you think? Are they being overbearing? Should I respect their rules since I’m in their house? Is their some sort of compromise? I don’t bring people over often, and actually this is the first time I’ve even asked.
tl;dr Roommates who own the house wont let me have guests over. Are they overbearing or am I an asshole for asking?
9 comments
I mean, do you pay them rent? Are there terms to your rent that allow you to or not to have people over?
Time to look for a new place to stay. Being single and not being able to bring a potential gf home would be a sad situation to live in. How long before you can break your rental agreement?
I can understand if they are cautious about who enters their home. It’s a complete stranger and they want to be safe. Since your contract works in their favor, it’s time to look for ways to enjoy a date night outside the home 😊
Yeah that’s a little overbearing but I get where they’re coming from. If you’re getting a good deal on rent, to them its just not worth the lack of peace of mind to worry if the flavor of the week is secretly psycho, or the simple edgy feeling of a stranger in your house.
Have you ever brought anyone over before who caused a problem? Is there a reason they might not trust your judgment?
What is up with all of these comments???
OP, you’re an adult who pays rent, not a child who has to get his parents’ permission to have a friend over. It’s a courtesy to tell your housemates if you’re having a guest over, but that’s about it.
Cool that they’re also the landlords, but you pay them for the privilege. If they want complete control over everyone who comes into the house, then they can live by themselves.
Tell your roommates that you’re having this girl over, and they can chose whether to meet her or stay out of the way. You’ve paid your rent, you get the right to use the space.
You’re not room mates, you are their boarder. And they can and will use that/set their own rules for you as they wish, given they also own the house and are married. Don’t think of yourself as equal – they don’t and you aren’t in this situation. I dont mean to be blunt, it’s just facts having been in a similar situation before with a friend and her now husband.
Your roommates are not your roommates. They’re actually your landlords. They own the place while you’re a temporary tenant. Regardless of your past with them, you do have to live by their rules in their house. If you don’t like it, find another living situation. If you can’t afford another place, suck it up until you can.
I’d start the move out process. They sound more like your parents