How did you move on from being left for another woman and not feel inadequate?

8 comments

  1. Hi this isn’t the answer you are looking for but I nearly left my partner of 15yrs recently for someone else, and it had absolutely nothing to do with my partner. I don’t know if it was because we had grown apart or became different people. But I was smitten and it was only because we have a child and I didn’t want to leave them hi and dry that I didn’t go through with it. In 15yrs I had never even looked at another girl, but this person rocked my world (we never even kissed, but talked about being together) sooo long story short…. it’s not because of you. You may feel like the floor has fallen out from under you, and it will hurt, especially if you had planned a life with this person. But its not your fault! it will take time but you will recover and you will move on

  2. Of course you will date again! Without knowing specifics I have to generalise, but it will hurt knowing that whatever you do it won’t be enough to stop this person from leaving, as for the constant crying im down to about once a day randomly bursting into tears. I cannot stress this enough…. Its not your fault!!!

  4. You have to accept that he might be gone for good. …
    Let yourself go through the pain. …
    Remember it is not your fault. …
    Try not to compare yourself with the other woman. …
    Consult a therapist or counselor. …
    Find yourself. …
    Keep living and get busy. …
    Do not go chasing after him.

  7. TLDR- guy I was seeing at 19 hooked up and moved on with my best friend. I had no backbone, so turned into the “this is fine” dog meme for 2 years? I absolutely felt inadequate, but grew out of it

    Full-
    I was seeing a guy exclusively, but pretty low commitment, for a few months. My friends all knew him, but wasn’t introducing to family etc.

    He swapped me out for my very best friend, and it was never directly addressed. It literally just happened right in front of me that they were now together and he and I were not. No conversation. 😂 They started hooking up and told me after.

    Shitty, but it was so weird I had no clue how to react and was self conscious because of all the differences between myself and my (former) best friend- seriously she had more sex appeal in her pinky than I have in my entire body 😂 I’m cute and goofy, but even I was like damn I’m just going to take the L and go stand over here.

    I basically didn’t react. I didn’t want to lose her as a friend, and I didn’t want to lose mutual friends i gained dating him. I was a lot younger (19?) and less self assured, but over time cut ties with both. They ended up having a pretty toxic relationship and things ended very badly, which did not make me feel any better.

    Received an unsolicited apology like 3 years ago (so like 10 years later) from the guy and that he regretted most of it, but mostly that we weren’t friends anymore. That was unexpected and nice. I will butcher the phrasing, but basically opened with sorry I broke up with you for your best friend’s tits 😂 I respected he didn’t try to make it sound like a deep connection lol.

    People grow up and shit hurts less with time 🤷🏻‍♀️ I do wish I would have stood up for myself though, but I hadn’t developed the backbone yet. Life goes on

  8. That hasn’t fully or dramatically happened to me but I had one guy I dated in my 20’s insinuate he was choosing to be with someone else over me without saying it but I was already over him and his b.s He had me drop him off at her house and I was happy to. I felt both thankful and a bit sorry for whoever she was because he was about to become her problem. I went through some things with him and knew he’d only get worse and it was confirmed later that he did.

    I focused on myself, took some courses and changed career fields and it wasn’t long before I was dating someone who was an upgrade. Try to learn and practice not putting your self worth into the hands of someone else. Some men will work on you handing the power of how you feel about yourself over to them. Never ever do that.

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