Boyfriend and I of 3.5 years broke up a month or so ago. We lived together, and broke up because his life was going one way, mine another, so ultimately decided to break up. It happened suddenly, so were basically in a relationship until he moved out. I’m being vague on purpose, but it was an amicable break up.
I’m coming to terms with the fact that I’ll probably never be with this person who I’ve loved and been vulnerable and intimate with for years. Our relationship wasn’t perfect, but overall we were happy and I love him. And now I’m just starting to think that eventually this person will be with someone else and love them, and could potentially be happy or happier than he was with me, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I just have to move on. And that thought fucking stings, if I’m being honest.
Then I remember that people who have been together twice as long or longer, have had kids and bought homes and created lived together break up too. It puts my situation in perspective when I think about how much I’m hurting and that I literally can not imagine dating, kissing or having sex with someone else. Or just opening up to anyone else in this way. But somehow people do this everyday. How?? Sorry if this is all over the place.
TL;DR: how do you eventually move on from a relationship, and how do you cope with your ex moving on too?
5 comments
Pop that pussy for someone else and show him what he’s missing out on.
It’s only been a month. You’re gonna need more time to heal fully.
Some people *can’t* do it and they go crazy and off themselves, or become alcoholics, or develop mental disorders. Some people turn to something to “save” them like a new religion or extreme self improvement routine. Some people just cry a whole bunch or stare off numbly or sleep with strangers or never sleep with anyone for a long time…
Everyone struggles, everyone tries to find their own way out of pain. Just take it one day at a time.
It truly is strange how we can share so much with a person but after enough time passes they become strangers again. I don’t think there is an easy way unfortunately. You just have to struggle for a bit and that’s okay. Sometimes life sucks. You’re going to be fine in the end. Wishing you strength.
It sounds like you broke up because of circumstance and direction.
The reason why the longer duration couples don’t care about the break up is because they borderline hate each other. Lol
Rare exception to normal advice. But think if it’s worth actually breaking up. are there significant compromises either of you could make?
Self sacrifice is often needed for something that can truly work