Hi everyone, I made a post on QAnonCasualties about 10 months ago after breaking up with my long term partner, who had Q beliefs. He is 23M and I am 24F. We were together for 5 years. You can see it on my history, im not sure how I can link it. Anyway, I think I need someone to talk to, and seek some advice.
I have not looked back since the breakup, and I am so happy for that. The first few days of the breakup were horrible but not having to listen to any conspiracy theories quickly changed that, I felt at peace and calm for the first time in years!! He used to call me names and dumb for not supporting his beliefs and I didn’t realise how insecure he made me feel – I feel like I’m now finally getting back to my old self. I trust myself more now, and it feels really good.
I went through a period of resenting and hating him, especially after talking to some friends about our relationship. I hadn’t realised that some of the stuff that he did are considered abusive and I felt really embarrassed for staying with him for that long. Last year was really hard for me, especially after losing two loved ones, and I guess I stayed with him because I needed some stability. I need to work on creating a better support network, but I still struggle a lot with opening up to anyone.
I still have a lot of resentment towards him and I’m not sure how to move on from it, but I no longer care about what he’s up to, and don’t want to be in contact ever again. I am so much better of without him, my mind feels clear and I no longer feel like I’m getting held back by someone. I am much happier without him, but there’s still some things I struggle with.
I especially don’t want my past to affect any future relationships – I’m finding it really hard to open up to others and even trust them, and I attach and detach really quickly. I seem to have many difficulties with bonding to others emotionally and use physical closeness as an alternative. Any advice on how I can move on from this will be really appreciated.
As for him, I heard that he had a mental breakdown and found Jesus. I think that me and his conspiracies were his whole life, and once he lost me he tried clinging on to something else. He is working at youth support now (???????) and trying to have a positive impact on people. But this makes me really mad. How could he talk to me and treat me badly, and now pretending to be so morally correct and the good guy. Some of his beliefs were so wrong (e.g. thinking gay people are the devil, everything is controlled by Jews etc) and I feel so uncomfortable with him being in that position and when people talk to me about him. But as mad as it makes me, I try be respectful and not talk about him. I don’t want him to have any impact on my life.
He tried to get me to get back together with him maybe around 3 times, even came to my house one time but I didn’t see him. I refused each time and thankfully he stopped after 3 months.
I haven’t heard anything else about him, I’m trying to focus on myself now. I’ve met someone else in the past few months and it is going really well, but I haven’t opened to him about my past relationship and I feel like it is affecting us a little – I know that I go through periods where I detach completely because I’m scared of being in that position again, just in case. Should I talk to him about that or try to get over it myself?
Thank you for any advice.
Tldr: broke up with my qanon boyfriend 10 months – I feel like I am over him and the breakup but not some of the stuff that happened. How can I move on completely?