Example:

-logistics keep getting in the way to actually meet up

-girl grew up in a family where confrontation type scenarios was not easy. So she’s better at being precise and clear on text

**TLDR: isnt outcome is going to be same regardless of whether girl asks via text or in person?**

7 comments

  1. It depends. Logistics are preventing a meet up, as in they’ve never met in person or dates have been few and far between?

    The reason I’m asking is that significantly changes my answer. If you’ve never met up, then there’s absolutely no reason to have that discussion. There is a significant difference between texting and online and IRL.

    If dates are few and far between, then I’d want to know how much time you’ve actually spent together. It also would depend on hiw you’re defining it. 2 or 4 dates, wanting to be exclusive, no problem. Wanting to define it as a committed serious relationship, then I’d never want to have that conversation by text…ever.

  2. 10 dates, 3 months, afraid/unable to have this conversation directly and in person?

    I can DTR for you. Failing.

    It’s fine to have the conversation via text if logistics make that the best/easiest way. But if you’re three months in and are avoiding the conversation in person because it’s easier to have hard conversations via text… yeah.

  3. Text is definitely better than avoiding the talk, so try it and see how it goes.

    May I also politely suggest you also try reading a book on assertiveness? It’s a good life skill for this but also other things like negotiating raises.

    Good luck!

  4. what’s the point of being in a relationship if you can’t see each other and don’t feel comfortable having a pretty basic conversation face to face?

  6. If you can’t begin a relationship with basic face to face communication then the relationship is going to fail. The outcome of this specific conversation may end up being the same, but the issue is the precedent that this could begin for the rest of the relationship.

  7. if you’re going to get to know someone exclusively over text i would avoid getting in a committed relationship until you start talking f2f. reason being that through text there is a lot thats not being communicated.. facial expression, vibes, etc. you may find that in person the connection feels different and it would suck to have already progressed into being in a committed partnership only to discover you’re not as into the person irl as you were through just texts. this has happened to me before so thats why i bring it up. also people can unintentionally mask certain aspects of their personality through text.

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