Just had an argument with my partner and I’m angry he doesn’t see where I’m coming from or try understand why I’m so upset. He mentioned he wanted to go watch or support one of our gym teammates at a powerlifting comp this coming week. He didn’t say a few weeks ago what time his mate was on and he did mention he will volunteer to help out with the comp as they need help. I assumed it was after work since we have mother teammate competing too and suggested oh we should go watch and support her too and he said oh what time is she on hopefully after work so thinking his mate is too. I did ask him if your volunteering they might need you the whole day and we can’t do that since he works full time and I’m part time and look after our son. He said he changed his mind and that was that.
Well tonight he says he’s doing to watch and I asked oh what time so we all go and he said oh no you have work ? I was like well so do you ? He said yeah I’ve taken that day off. I said to him wait you didn’t say that you were going to take time off cause we’re strict about using our annual days especially having a child your days are for them so to use it for watching a guy computer who’s her not super close with and we hadn’t use any of our days to have family in so long was so out of pocket for me. I just don’t seem it’s fair for him to waste his days when I’ve been using all my sick days for my son and I’ve never really had any time to myself.
I don’t want to come across controlling but my man has a well balance life. He trains most days straight after work and in the weekend. He goes to work functions but he is a home body. He’s always so busy too spend quality time with my son and I and gets up really early to play his games and have been playing it a lot this weekend.
I get I work part time but I’m always with our son, my whole life revolves around our boy. I’ve never felt comfortable to think oh I’ll take time off work to go watch events or do stuff for my own leisure.I’ve been accepted to work full time and I told him that we both need to put in the effort and I will go back to doing my own training too.
4 comments
Did he take the whole day off or part of the day? If it was the whole day he should’ve told you earlier and you could’ve if you wanted and you could both support your friends and at least have family time. If it was a part day I don’t think it’s that big of a deal it may be different for you but where I’m from leave hours rack up pretty quickly so a few won’t really mean anything.
> He’s always so busy too spend quality time with my son and I
That’s your main issue right there.
You’re not really upset about him using an annual leave day. It’s just a symptom of the real issue which is your growing resentment towards your partner because he doesn’t spend enough time with his family.
In your mind, he’s straight up selfish. And he might be. Tell him you need time for yourself too and then, do it. If you want to see a friend or go to the gym, schedule time for yourself. He doesn’t ask for permission. Neither should you.
>I don’t want to come across controlling but my man has a well balance life. He trains most days straight after work and in the weekend. He goes to work functions but he is a home body.
I think you are overworking yourself and need to take some time for yourself. You cannot compare your life to that of your man. You are not him. It’s okay to be upset but you might just need some time for you.
>especially having a child your days are for them
Let me say this and most people will not understand it. Parents need free time and everything cannot be about the kid. Sometime your off days are your off days.
>he works full time and I’m part time and look after our son.
That’s the relationship agreement that can be adjusted with a few conversations.
>I’ve been using all my sick days for my son and I’ve never really had any time to myself
Please take time for yourself.
>I get I work part time but I’m always with our son, my whole life revolves around our boy
This is a common mistake that I have seen a lot of women make. Your kids are with you 18 years but your significant other is there for life. Sometime focusing on your kid more will destroy the relationship. Simply put, if the man does not find love at home because you don’t have time. They have to find it somewhere else. Please don’t take this comment wrong.
>I’ve never felt comfortable to think oh I’ll take time off work to go watch events or do stuff for my own leisure
I recommend talking to someone and getting your life back. Good luck.