Throwaway here. I am a 20F and I come from a very conservative place and thus received very little and inaccurate sex ed. I have been on the pill since I was 16 and have tried a few brands, but now that I’m 20 I’m still a virgin. I have sexual aspirations and I did not want to be a virgin at 20, but I get so nervous and self conscious. Not to mention I’m concerned about my health. I’m worried that waiting this long has created or will create problems. I never feel any sexual urges unless I am actively kissing someone I’m attracted to, I get very shy and inarticulate even when I’ve known someone for years, I’ve never had a gyno visit, I’m bad at taking the pill on time, my vag sometimes develops a very embarrassing and overwhelming odor detectable through clothes, I have trouble self lubricating, and I have virtually no feeling in my vagina so masturbation is incredibly difficult. Not to mention a history of sexual harassment and aggression.
All this to say- I have no confidence as a woman and I know my care and keeping of my sexual health is absolutely subpar. Are these things usual, and how do I take better care of my sexual health so I can confidently go forth and seduce?
5 comments
Definitely worth a trip to the gynecologist to get checked up. No shame in that and you’re old enough for a first appointment.
Why the heck are you on the pill if you’re a virgin 😵💫😵💫😵💫
How will waiting create problems? I didn’t lose my virginity until 30. And guess what? There were no problems. If anything, it just made sex better, because by that point in life guys were very experienced and knew how to please me.
Also, virtually no feeling in your vagina is pretty normal, especially as a virgin. Your vagina doesn’t have a lot of nerves and isn’t sensitive to touch (because imagine how painful child birth would be if vaginas were that sensitive and had that much feeling!). If you want pleasure, focus on your clit, not your vagina.
Oh, and vaginas are self-cleaning.
As far as sexual health, if you have sex, insist on using condoms.
I’ve read some studies that people who wait to have sex encounter more issues in their sex lives as they get older, and given my history I’d be a prime candidate.
I’ve never been successful at putting things in my vagina, and I feel nothing with a powerful vibrator on any setting right against my clit.
When I start I will of course insist on condoms, yes thank you.
If the numbness continues and a gynae can’t help, it might be worth seeing a physiotherapist