Title is self explanatory, i have feelings for my FWB. We’ve been seeing each other for about 5 months now and all has been well. A shitstorm of events later and i find out he’s been seeing someone else casually on the side. This hurt me and triggered my anxiety because i had developed feelings for him. He was made aware of this and we’ve talked it out. It’s been on and off with my anxiety because it only triggers when intrusive thoughts pop up.
We’ve talked about this and we acknowledge our fault wasn’t communicating constantly about our arrangement, only when we started sleeping together. We agreed we werrnt exclusive but that was before i developed feelings. He has also assured me I’m generally the person he sees and talks to the most, they don’t sleep together often, and the girl is completely uninterested in a relationship.
This triggered severe feelings of insecurity and being replaced due to past toxic relationships. I am not ready for a relationship because of this and neither is he due to his own past. He has also mentioned that anything can happen, me or him seeing other people, or us getting together
We’re constantly in open communication and he’s expressed to me and my best friend he likes and cares about me, he didn’t want to hurt me that way but he just isnt ready.
He is genuinely a great man, he’s treated me the best any partner has, he gets along with people important to me, and he’s kind and considerate when it comes to my anxiety. There are moments we have that makes me feel like this more than a FWB but also not to get my hopes up.
I talked to a friend about my anxiety, and how I acknowledge that while bad things might happen, the possibility of risk is just as high. I’m severely afraid of vulnerability and rejection, and my friend told me acknowledging and hoping for good will only cause me to hurt.
I don’t want to hurt. I like him, we aren’t ready and that’s okay. I have generalized anxiety disorder and it’s severely overwhelming. Most times im okay, sometimes i can’t help but cry and convince myself im setting myself up for pain by having feelings for someone emotionally unavailable and that’s neither of our faults
Tldr: i got feelings for my fwb, and my personal issues magnify my feelings to make it feel worse and more intense than it actually is. i am not ready to date and neither is he
2 comments
If one has feelings and the other doesn’t. Stop.
You need to prioritize your health and feelings. One or both parties developing feelings in a fwb arrangement is fairly common.
If this no longer works for you then you end it because being in this is hurting you.