My (23M) girlfriend (23F) has never had an orgasm. We have a fantastic sex life so I don’t think it’s a massive deal as we have gone 17 months with no major issues. I have done hours of research and tried new things, but it never seems to happen. She says that I do an amazing job but she doesn’t know why it doesn’t happen. I know she has never tried masturbating and also takes antidepressants so that probably isn’t helping. I also know she is frustrated and feels like there is something wrong with her, but for some reason, she doesn’t ever really seem to want to fix it. I am trying to decide what my best course of action is… I don’t want to pressure her, but I don’t see why she should also give up on it at the same time.
11 comments
The funny thing about orgasms is that you don’t crave them till you’ve had one. My advice would be have a session that basically involves a vibe, your fingers, and your tongue till she comes. Give her oral, overwhelm her (not beyond the point of consent ofc) use every trick in the book – the come hither motion, the pressure on her lower abdomen, stimulating her erogenous zones, etc. Have a session that’s just her and focused on making her orgasm. When you’ve done that, learn from what made her go over the edge. You can also explore her porn preferences, and take some inspiration from that to make her orgasm.
Antidepressants are known for blocking chemicals in the brain that mess up sexual feelings and how you feel from them.
I also know this from personal experience.
So she’s totally normal, nothing to worry about.
I think I know why you want her to orgasm. I personally get pleasure when my partner gets pleasure, so seeing her orgasm is the best feeling ever.
Make sure that she knows you’re not trying to depend on her finishing though, because that will actually make it harder for her to cum.
I think in general her emotional state and depression can affect the feeling of not being relaxed yet, you need to start with this, I also haven’t had orgasms for a while even if my boyfriend tried hard…the thing was that I couldn’t relax because I felt that if I came I would wet myself, so I strained and couldn’t give free rein to orgasm..now I realized that it’s okay and I like to cum, she needs more than the work of fingers, vibrations and tongues, she needs to accept some things in her brain..good luck…
Try a vibrator
Some people are like that. Myself included. I wouldn’t say never, but I rarely cum and I certainly don’t need it for sex to be good.
If it is only bothering her (and you) because she thinks she “should be” orgasming, then try to put that aside. It’ll happen when it happens. The point is to have fun. If it is bothering her more than that, there are things you can try, but focusing too much on orgasming can be counterproductive.
She can also try discussing it with her psychiatrist, different meds can have different effects on people’s libidos.
But my advice is that as long as you are both having fun, don’t worry too much about it.
I’m sorry to say this but I don’t think I had my first orgasm until I was in my early 30’s. So yeah, of course I married the guy who got it done ☺️ it’s still very hard for me to accomplish but it’s easier now that I know how
Definitely get a vibrator. Focus on clitoral stimulation Vs. Just penetration when it comes to giving her an orgasm.
That’s almost definitely the antidepressants. She can talk to her doctor about trying a different brand with fewer sexual side effects.
The antidepressants can play a part in this.
Sex toys were invented for a reason