So, i’ve (f21) been having sex with this guy (m20) for a little over a month, and everything was going great, until a few weeks ago he started going soft almost everytime we try to get intimate. Before we were able to have sex at least 3 times, or i could blow him multiple times, but now we’re lucky if he can get it up 1 time.
Of course my insecurities got the best of me so i asked a few times over the last weeks if i was doing something wrong or if he didn’t like me anymore, to which he said that it had nothing to do with me. Yesterday, we were talking in bed and he told me that he was having performance anxiety, and everytime we try to have sex (or even when he’s alone) he’s thinking he won’t be able to get it up, and that makes it even harder to get an erection, or enjoy what we do.
So my question is, first, how do i help him? i’m trying my best to not push or rush him, because i know he can’t control it, but clearly i can’t do anything if it’s all in his head. Second, has anybody had this happen? i don’t understand why it was so good in the beginning and now this is happening, is it true that this has nothing to do with me?
4 comments
Cuddles and explore eachotbers bodies with your hands. Sey the pace way down and let him build the comfort he needs 🙂
Give the man some rest
Hope this helps! This is actually normal, be very understanding and patient! [Performance Anxiety](https://www.verywellmind.com/sexual-performance-anxiety-symptoms-causes-treatments-5207955)
There are so many reasons a dick wont get hard or stay hard. Performance anxiety is definitely legitimate. So are hormonal imbalances, medication, recreational substances, stress from other factors, illness, and other stuff. If he’s still wanting to get together and says it isn’t you, it’s not you.
As for fixing it, take the pressure off. Make plans to cuddle and make each other feel good without the need for him to “perform”. I’d also recommend a check up just to rule out any underlying health concern.