I’m talking to a guy he’s 35, and I don’t wanna judge because I know what it feels like to be judged but I don’t wanna have him end up asking me for money etc if I pursue him. He makes 12k a year after taxes , lives with his parents and his brother who is 40, no kids and drives a 2012. I asked him why he pretends like he’s so busy sometimes and always talking about work and brags about being better at his job than anyone else that works there if he’s working so little and he literally told me that he volunteers to do things at work. So I asked him why he’s volunteering and taking this time to do stuff if he isn’t even getting paid for it and he said it’s because he “loves what he does” He says he’s only working 3 days a month (that he gets paid for) sometimes because he’s “trying to go to school” even though he’s going to a community college where the classes are mostly free and says he’s trying to be a doctor which would take 10+ years. But I’m in college too, as my first year so I asked him why he couldn’t multitask and work more and do both and he said it’s because he can’t multitask he can only do one thing at a time. He doesn’t pay any bills where he lives. I’m really trying not to judge him but I don’t want to pursue anything if things won’t change long term.
Some of the things he said bothered me. I asked him what he looks for in a woman and he said she can’t be a single mom , because it’s a red flag and she can’t have any kids, ( I’m not a mom myself) and his standards were just really high so I’m trying to be everything he wants in a woman but my friend told me to give it up bc he’s a bum but I want other opinions I guess. (From older people who have much more experience than I do)
5 comments
>he’s 35,
> He makes 12k a year after taxes , lives with his parents and his brother
>I asked him what he looks for in a woman and he said she can’t be a single mom , because it’s a red flag and she can’t have any kids
>He doesn’t pay any bills
This guy is no good and he’s misogynistic. Also, read a comment where it says you’re 19 and he’s 35. All of this is just a big YES, you should give up on him.
Run. This guy is looking for someone to replace his mother.
Why are you in your first year of college?
If it’s because you’re 18 or 19 and just finished high school, run far the fuck away from this weirdo.
If it’s because you’ve also had some set backs and difficulties in life and are getting your shit together in your 30s, it’s a bit of a different situation and you’ll have to trust your gut.
But seriously if you’re under the age of like 25 (and that’s pushing it) don’t date someone 35, especially someone who doesn’t have any of his shit together.
He sounds like a dreamer, not a doer. Head in the clouds and all sorts of high ideals while spinning his wheels and going nowhere.
He’s 35. He’s not going to change.
He never did anything to improve himself or reach a degree of independence. That guy won’t do much with his life and he’ll drag you down with him.
Just move on, there’s hordes of better guys than that.