I [M26] have been dating her [F23] for close to two months. The most physical intimacy we’ve had is cuddling while watching movies. We have been to each others apartments and I have slept over her place multiple times. Last week we had a conversation where we officially said we are in an exclusive relationship. This is the further I’ve ever gotten in dating so I don’t know what I’m doing.
A couple weeks ago I asked to kiss her and she just commented that it was weird to ask and I should just go for it, then she changed the subject. The problem is that her body language doesn’t seem open to kissing? For example, I would think that a natural time for a first kiss is at the end of the date as we say goodbye. However, at the end of a date she waves goodbye with her hand outstretched which seems like she’s physically trying to prevent me from getting closer? I don’t understand how I can kiss her without saying anything about it if she isn’t physically open to it.
I’m debating texting her right now and straight up asking her if she just doesn’t want to kiss or if I’m really misinterpreting her body language. How should I start this conversation? It’s an elephant in the room that I just need to get off my chest asap.
3 comments
I think you are thinking too much about this. Go with the flow. She is right that you should not be asking and go for it. I don’t think this is weird because the relationship is defined. You are not kissing a stranger you just met. This was a signal that she wants you to go for it. Next time you watch a movie and get close to each other, run your hands into her hair, your finger on her neck or skin. If you see she’s into it go for the kiss
Dude if you are in an exclusive relationship you get to kiss her, you dont have to wait for the perfect time or for body language, just fucking kiss her
Dude, she’s into you. She invited you to her place and she went to yours. You agreed you’re in exclusive relationship. All of these are thresholds that usually happen way past first kiss, so I’d say you don’t have to worry about her being weirded out when you’re going for the kiss. Oh, and she straight up told you to just kiss her without asking. She isn’t giving you the sign, she’s giving you brightly lit road with GPS instructions.
It also seems to me that you’re asking for a logistics on how to go for a kiss. Well, doing it at some point during cuddling (which already happened between you two) would fall into impossible-to-fail category. Or failing that, near the end of the date take her hand, walk together for minute or two, turn her towards you, put your hand of her face and just kiss her. Believe me, she will understand what you’re trying to do and she will be receptive. Theoretically yes, if you see her saying “no” or pulling away – do back off. I say “theoretically” because the way you describe your relationship, that’s not going to ever happen and she’s just waiting for you to initiate a kiss.
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>I’m debating texting her right now and straight up asking her if she just doesn’t want to kiss
Don’t do that and don’t overthink this simple problem to such a degree. Just kiss her on your next date, or sleep-over or something else.