Now before people go calling me insecure and this and that, this is a friend who I (23f) see almost all the time and I’ve never really had to deal with these feelings before. Basically before my partner and I ever got together, they had a one night stand. Like a few months before we got together. In fact my friend cheated on her bf who she’s still with, with my bf when this all happened. Now I don’t really care about my bfs past because I know he chose me and all but when i go out with my friend and i see her being all cute n sexy I can’t help but feel some kind of jealousy. And she’s a few years older than me and will try to be a “big sister” which I appreciate but i honestly hate it sometimes. So many intrusive thoughts come. I’ve talked about it with my bf and he has zero interest or attraction to her, so he claims. But it just bugs me. Feeling lost
Tl;Dr: one of my friends hooked up with my bf in the past and for some reason I’m having a hard time with it
7 comments
Why would you be friends with someone who openly cheats on their partner?
That’s exactly why I don’t do friends or associates.
You need better friends and need to tell her bf about the hookup.
Honestly, I think that feeling will fade out with time. Both my fiancé and I sometimes see people we have previously hooked up with but after enough time passes it just doesn’t really matter anymore if you know what I mean. Who cares about what happened 5-10 years ago? For now, just take a deep breath and remember he is choosing to be with you!
Whatever happened before you, happened before you. If they wanted more it would have happened. He chose you now and that’s the end of it. My fiancé has had hook ups with a couple of my friends and it doesn’t bother me one bit, I can’t let it. They never dated or had feelings, it was just sex and that’s okay!
It was a one night stand. They didn’t have a proper relationship. They never even had those kinds of feelings for each other. However the thing that stands out is the fact that your friend cheated on her bf with your current bf in that one night stand. That is the thing that would make me question whether your “friend” is worth keeping around. Also did your bf know your friend was in a relationship at the time of the one night stand?
Edit: I saw you said he didn’t know. You should still cut your friend off. She’s not a good person if she cheated.
I mean does her bf know she cheated? If not why haven’t you told him, a good friend holds friends accountable for their actions.
And for the one night stand, it depends on what your comfortable with, are you able to get over it