I am in the process of losing weight. While I have never been obese I have always been the fat friend. They have always been sizes 4 – 6 while I am a size 10 – 12.

I joined a sport club with my insanely fit boyfriend, I work out hard 15 hours a week. I am obsessed and I love it so much, its hard but I don’t care. I now eat way more then what I usually do and the weight is falling off. I feel like a teenage boy with my current diet and activity levels.

My friends know I’m losing weight and that I have joined a gym but they think its more me trying to eat less. They invited me to a new buffet and encouraged me to have a cheat day. I haven’t seen them in person for a while so I was very excited to show my progress to them. I don’t have cheat days as I genuinely need to eat way too much now but I relented.

I didnt eat in the morning and I planned to work out extra hard so I was fully able to be buffet ready. We all get food and sit. I eat a lot, they eat a little. Then they started getting me food to try out. I could see them giggling among themselves and watching me, I could clearly see what they were trying to do. They went up and got more but were full and gave it to me as they didn’t want to waste it.

They started talking about how they were so glad they didn’t diet as they couldn’t do what I do. How I was so lucky for this ‘cheat day’ and how much I must have enjoyed eating real food for a change. Then they started to make fun of how I ate. I ate a lot but it wasn’t an obnoxious amount. Let me tell you, I was so embarrassed. I left early crying.

If the shoes were reversed I would have been so proud of them and encouraged them but it feels like they just want me to be fat.

I don’t want to talk to them ever again. How do I even face them after this?

34 comments

  1. first of all, congratulations on the progress youve made to make yourself happier! choosing to lead a healthy lifestyle is not easy, but youre making all the right choices for yourself and listening to your body!

    i wouldnt talk to them again. they obviously dont have your best interest in mind. i got regina george vibes from your story. dont waste your energy on them, friend.

  2. It sounds to me like the only weight you really need to lose is your ‘friends’ they sound immature and mean. I’d get rid of them.

    You sound like a great person, and well done on the work you’re doing on your body, it’s tough to change and it sounds like you are hitting it out of the park!!

  3. That sounds awful, I’m sorry you had to experience that.

    Even if they don’t understand your lifestyle situation or the laws of physics (the calories in vs. out), friends should never humiliate you like this. They could have discussed the situation with you if they were worried about you for some reason. I am sorry, but this sounds like they are bad friends or no friends at all.

    On the other hand, congrats on your journey, I feel like you enjoy it a lot, that’s great! Now, good luck with finding new, better friends 🙂

  4. Congratulations on your journey!

    I have a tip for you
 you can lose another few hundred pounds if you ditch these guys 🙂

  5. Awww! Congratulation on your progress!

    Now, the only weight you need to lose is your “friends”.

  6. > I don’t want to talk to them ever again. How do I even face them after this?

    I don’t think facing them is really the way to go. It’s alright to cut out friends that tear you down. I think a lot of people need to hear that.

  7. They made fun of how you ate? and kept feeding you?

    The group dynamics is for you to be the fat friend, the one that they can look down on so they can feel better about themselves. You are working hard to get yourself together and will likely look better than they will, so they have to put you down or else they will lose the game.

    So what you do is become somewhat more awesome and confident and say things like yup can eat whatever I like now, sucks to be you on a diet right, how sad you cannot enjoy your food.

    Then you find some actually supportive friends instead of insecure people who don’t have a brain cell between them.

    Sometimes you just out grow a group and this is one of those times. They have tried to keep you down and make you feel like shit because you are up and above them, you are working hard and acheiving things they will never be able to even understand. Show off your gains and those huge meals in whatever way you want, because you are not that chubby friend that everyone looked down on and you will never be again.

    But seriously do whatever you want, do it for yourself, ignore the haters as everyone doing well gets haters, the more you get the better you are doing, that is the truth.

  8. Do not spend your time with people actively making fun of you and trying to harm you by feeding you food with the sole premise of hurting you.

    They didn’t do this day so you could relax. They did it to feed you and call you out so they could feel good about something in their sad. Life.

    You achieved more than others ever have. Well. Done on your progress and keep up the insane work and motivation.

    But do it with people that actually respect you and are happy for you

  9. friends who don’t celebrate your achievements are not friends at all !!!!!! cut ties with them, burn those bridges. it’s a little daunting to remove friends from your life at first, but once you start to weed out the terrible people, you’ll feel so much better. then you have all this space in your heart for friends who genuinely care about you and want you to be the best version of yourself!

  10. I wouldnt wanna talk to people like that either. Very rude. It’s called balance.
    Congrats on your weightloss so far and that you are still able to enjoy food / nights out. Hopefully with better Company in the future.

  12. Yeah no, don’t talk to these people ever again. They aren’t your friends, they’re more like your bullies. Don’t face them, don’t speak to them. Ghosting is the least they deserve.

  13. Op looks like they are trying to sabotage tour progress, i will never tell someone who is trying to lose weight to go to a buffet, also considering that they assumed you were on a diet eating very little…. sounds pretty bad

  14. Seems your so-called friends are weighing you down. Forget them and keep doing you.

  15. Sometimes when you are no longer the fat girl in the group, the others start realizing they aren’t going to have someone else to “be better than”, and their flaws will be more evident.

  16. can i be your friend instead??
    im so happy for you you found something you’re really excited about and that it also helps you to be healthier!! <33

  17. You have a fit boyfriend and bettering yourself.

    They want to be you rn that’s why they are doing this. Drop these toxic people.

  19. Goodness. Get new friends please. They sound rather toxic and probably jealous of the progress you’ve made (congratulations by the way!). I’m so sorry you’ve had this encounter and I don’t think it’s worth having a relationship with any of them anymore. Keep enjoying your food!!

  21. Block 👏 them👏. Like, what the fuck? Who needs enemies with friends like that. If my friend was going on a weight loss journey I’d ask them about what food they need and pick a place based on that. And I’d talk to them about the gym and their diet and their life. Also, take some time to process this, write them nasty letters that you don’t send, smash some dishes, but drain out that poison they tried to inject in you, and then have your revenge by having a hot girl life with your boyfriend. One more thing, just make sure you’re stretching!

  23. Wow what cruel bitches. They literally just invited you to a buffet to make fun of you.

    Congratulations on losing weight through your own hard work and discipline. Ditch them and find better people.

  24. This is just mean. Sometimes people get too comfortable with an image they had of someone, and they do not give them the leeway to grow. (Like when the “jokester” friend now wants to get serious, and people complain that they’ve changed, or always reference things they’ve done in the past to keep bringing up their previous behavior)

    Looks like these friends needed you to be a particular person in this friend group. It’s nothing you did – it’s them. If you don’t want to talk to them ever again, you don’t need to.

  25. I don’t think they are your friends. They are just behaving like morons.

    Keep up the good work 🙂

  27. Sounds like you have shitty friends OP, you shouldn’t have to be a certain size to have friends.

  28. That is seriously so fucked up. Me and my friends love to eat alot of good food together and we would never make fun of judge each other

  29. > I don’t want to talk to them ever again. How do I even face them after this?

    There’s this clichĂ© that every girl group has a “DUFF” or Dumb Ugly Fat Friend. This friend doesn’t know it, but the others in the group have/need you around so they can feel better about themselves AND to make them appear better looking when going out with you.

    You’re not dumb, because you obviously know your value in life and it’s not to be their plaything.

    You’re not ugly, because you pulled yourself a guy ALL of them are jealous about. Think about that. The “Fatty” pulled the “Hotty”. And not them.

    You’re not fat, because you work out. Trading fat for muscle mass and stamina. I’m willing to bet you’re the least winded in a 100m race amongst y’all. Zyzz would be proud of you.

    And you are not their friend. They lost that privilege.

    I’m proud of you.

  30. I’m male and I quit smoking at one point. I’m 5 foot 9 and I ballooned up to 230lbs. I started riding with my wife for exercise and it took me down to 190lbs. Correcting my eating and moving towards portion control with a properly balanced diet brought me down to 150lbs.

    I literally had one of the wives of my friends say: “You’re too skinny, I need some meat on a man or I don’t find them attractive” – to my face.

    Can you imagine if I said that to a woman? People are shitty. I had multiple people suggest I had a drug problem or I had cancer. Nevermind the fact I was posting my rides and progress to Facebook the entire time.

    Keep your head down and lose your weight. Screw the haters.

  31. They’re drunk on Haterade and they’re not really your friends. I am so sick of girl hate. Your friends should be encouraging and supportive, not pulling that crap on you.

  33. Congrats on your progress! I have to eat more than people usually ASSume as well, I don’t really care. Our results speak for themselves. 🙂 No approval needed. 🙂

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