Hi, me (f24) and my bf (m23) has been dating for 8 years, on and off but been good for the past 3 years. 2 years ago, there’s a girl texting me saying that she’s my boyfriend’s fiancé and both my bf and her family knew about it and agreed to that, I raised this topic with my bf and he said it’s just some girl from her relatives that obsessed with him and I shouldn’t worry about her so I trusted him and we going strong. But recently this girl is getting bold and getting out of lines, I told my boyfriend to just block her, but he said he can’t , because she’s still a relatives and because she threatened him to go suicide if he ever blocked her, so I said okay I’ll try to understand, but this girl knowing that we’re dating still trying to break us apart no matter how, texting him and calling him constantly. I personally hate it and it messing with my brain. I requested my bf to just please block her but instead of blocking her from his acc, he blocked her from MY acc so I wouldn’t see her name in his following list . He said he can’t block her cause he’s afraid she’ll really take her own life and the whole family will blame him for it so I said okay again but please just ignore her and her posts or just restrict and mute her. But somehow he still liked her post “accidentally” and I should understand that’s accident. He requested to please trust him and understand his position. He assured me everyday that I have him and that no one can take him away from me but whenever I see her name lingering around him, it just makes me feel sick and hurt, I know I might sound jealous and have some trust issue but what can I do if a girl constantly trying to break us apart with threats! And that threats so far works everytime she wants something from him.
36 comments
I feel like he had to have had an affair with her if she’s this obsessed and he won’t block her.
Something feels off about this. What do you mean this girl is from relatives? I don’t understand the relation to your bf?
He isn’t responsible for her in any way. I don’t understand why he hasn’t blocked her unless there was something going on with her you don’t know about. She seems awfully obsessed for just being a random girl.
Not his issue what she does with herself🤷🏽♂️ He needa put his and your life and happiness before some obsessive suicidal girl. Not his problem
This screams affair to me. If not, at the very least he isn’t putting up approriate boundaries and letting this woman terrorize your relationship. Could you ask his family who this person is?
Whichever one it is, i’d bd in breakup mode. Tell him you can’t put up with this, and he either blocks her and cuts her out conpletely, or you walk. This is under the assumtion it isnt an affair, of course.
The “accidental” like got me.
Don’t trust him.
People who threaten suicide use it as a control tactic. If he thought she would really commit suicide because he blocked her on social media, he needs to tell the relatives that she is in danger and have them take care of her. He is not a psychiatrist and is not trained to help her. That said, he is flat out lying to you. He enjoys her attention and even encourages it and doesn’t care how you feel. It’s time for this on and off relationship to be off again.
Your bf is probably going to end up married to his fiance soon.
He’s a god damn liar.
Let him be free he belongs with her
He is going to cheat on that woman his entire married life. There will always be a mistress-that is the role you are auditioning for- and he will cheat on the mistress too.
If your BF is afraid that someone is a threat to themselves (or others) he needs to call the police for a wellness check. Their are professionals that are trained to handle unstable people like this, and chances are your BF is not one.
If she thinks he is her fiancé, could this be an arranged marriage the families agreed to? One that he himself doesn’t agree to?
I think you need to do more digging for the truth.
DO NOT let this asshole manipulate you into thinking that *you* are in the wrong for being “jealous,” “insecure,” or that you need to grow out of your “trust issues.” Especially when he is giving you every reason for you not to trust him.
This is BULL-fucking-SHIT. If he truly thought she would go through with canceling her subscription to life, he would bring it to the attention of the authorities or her family. Not even muting her on social media? Babs. Please. It could not be any more clear that he is lying straight outta his ass and that he is manipulating you to believe your *very* valid concerns are an overreaction.
Why do people allow themselves to be bound this way?
Tell him to call the cops and let them know this girl said she is going to kill herself. Do this every time. It isn’t his fault if she hurts herself.
If he doesn’t, then he likes the attention – or is already cheating – and you need a new boyfriend.
If what he says is true, I do feel for him. I cant imagine feeling trapped with some girl and seeing it break your current relationship….
But if I was him, I would make sure the crazy b*** wouldnt stand between me and my gf. I would show all texts and show im never responding or only when she is doing those threats again. I would be open about all things, and try everything to not cause my gf to be rightfully suspicious
Personally I think your bf is lying to you.
But let’s just say for a moment he isn’t, and I’m your bf. I would go to my relatives and let them know that she is suicidal. After all a good cousin would want to ensure that her parents, my relatives knew of this terrible situation.
Failing to have the balls to do that, he should call her bluff. After all her killing herself has nothing to do with him.
Now if he doesn’t do either then my only conclusion is that he is having sex with this girl and is totally lying to you about this.
Or if you are bold, you should offer to meet this girl and ask her all about their ‘shared’ family history and how they are related. Then talk to you bf family and see if they know this girl etc…
One way or another you’ll get the answers you need.
Good luck.
let her
Yeah she’s not crazy at all probably whatever he is saying is most likely lies about her!
1a why would he really care about a crazy girl stating she will kill herself if she’s just a relative or associations with the family.
2b he is clearly in contact with her when OP is not around otherwise crazy girl would not be this crazy with no contact. She txting and calling him and he is liking her posts! Clearly they are in contact.
3c he is asking you to trust him on this which means he’s not telling you the whole truth.
As you said you guys been on and off! I wouldn’t be surprised if this crazy obsessed girl were a thing at one point, wouldn’t be surprised if they have slept together, wouldn’t be surprised if he is still sleeping with her, wouldn’t be surprised if he has promised her things.
As I guy I wouldn’t normally suggest this for OP but I think she needs to take matters into her own hands and speak to the crazy girl and ask her what’s up?
Op chances are you guy likes you but likes this other girl as well, maybe stringing her along or maybe she knows about you but he has promised he will break up with you for her! I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s going crazy because she knows he has another GF in his life and the anxiety of thinking about what he is doing when he is with your is making her go nuts!
Girl, there’s something SO fishy about this story, I’m telling you. He’s definitely feeding her “obsession” and they are definitely in contact for *some reason*, and that’s why he won’t block her from his account. I think you should investigate this further, maybe sneak through his phone…. I think he’s having a affair with her.
whatever he is telling you he sure as hell isnt telling her.
he blocked her from your account. he wants to hide her from you.
honestly just leave him and let the psycho have him. not worth the trouble at all.
I think your boyfriend has 2 girlfriends
At worst he’s cheating. At best he likes the attention and is stringing her along.
My partner has an ex from 10 YEARS AGO still hung up on him. It’s a situation that he really can’t cut her off completely without totally blowing up the world. But he’s backed waaaaaaaaaaay off on the “friendship”, he’s told her in plain English that they need to establish boundaries, he often shows me immediately when she messages him, he takes days to a week to give her a brief reply and if she tries to emotionally manipulate him, he just says he’ll help her find whatever help she feels she needs but he can’t be an emotional crutch.
Your boyfriend is refusing to do ANYTHING like that and “accidentally” liked a post? Blocked her from YOUR account so you wouldn’t see her? Do NOT trust this guy.
Run! Run as fast as you can!
Have him call for a wellness check from the police, block her & call it a day.
Your boyfriend is the issue. He is leading her on. He is probably cheating. This seems pretty clear but it seems like you are being manipulated into not believing literal reality. You are being gaslit.
next time she threatens suicide call the cops, I fucking hate when people do that manipulative bullshit.
Police. Don’t hesitate
Feels like he’s stringing her along. He’s unwilling to ease you of your worries by doing something or anything. Are you sure you’re not the side piece? Have you seen his families and got their input about this on going thing?
If I were you I’d get to the bottom of this and see how his family feels and where you stand in all this. The trust me and accidental liking is just bullshit since he got zero credibility.
This sounds like the movie ‘Fatal Attraction’
Your boyfriend is lying to you.
Have you met his family? Do they know this chick is saying they are engaged? This is too much baggage dude. 10/10 he loves feeling wanted and doesn’t want to give her up.
OP Does the rest of his family know how this “relative” is acting? Seems like after 2+ years someone would’ve gotten her help, especially considering the suicide threats. I can’t help but think your BF is enjoying this. All the attention from the her and all the jealousy and worriation from you. After all this time it sems he would’ve figured out a way to put a stop to her antics just to help you feel more secure in the relationship, but he hasn’t, has he? hmm…
Tell her to do it, we all know she won’t.
You are being manipulated…
OP you are worth more than this. Leave him.
Are his family aware of you. Because if not he is suss as f ck. And if she really is threatening to harm her self he really really should inform her family… But it all sounds like bullshit especially from him