From 18-25 I lost 245 pounds so after getting multiple surgeries related to excess skin and such I actually started feeling really confident. I started using tinder and I feel like I got the part of getting to sex down but I feel like then when I’m there I don’t know what the hell I’m suppose to do. I feel lost, like I think I’m doing good and it seems she is enjoying it but I keep second guessing myself and thinking should I change positions? Should I ask before I do this or should I make noises? Where should I look because eye contact is weird as fuck? This going constantly then after the hookup I analyze every second of it and think of all the ways I fucked up and what I could have done better, kinda like when you think of a great comeback after a argument.
Honestly I just want my hookups to be enjoyable for both parties and for me to maybe learn a thing or two along the way and not have to stress before, during and after it. How do I get over these insecurities?
Also I’d like to point out that I’ve never led anyone on for sex. Everyone I’ve had a sex with had no intentions of a relationship and I also get tested in between each one. So far in the past 7 months there has been 5, considering one of them unknowingly took my virginity I feel like that’s pretty good to go from none to 5 in 7 months. I’d like to add im not doing this just to add another notch to the bed post but more so for mutual fun and I feel like it’s something I’m suppose to do at my age
4 comments
Sex is not a performance act. Talk with your partner about it, the pressure you feel and such and you’ll see people are not into performances at all
Congrats on your weight loss! Nothing wrong with having some fun.
Please remember that the most important thing is the experience you create between you two, even if it’s just a hookup. That doesn’t mean doing everything “by the script” or “how it’s supposed to be.” As long as you’re earnestly trying to please her and getting good feedback, it’s okay to just let it happen.
Also, those sexual play by plays are *super* normal… we all do it. Game tape.
Maybe for your next link, you look for a woman who’s interested in taking a little more charge so you can relax a bit more?
Hey mate,
Something that I always tell other dudes to do when they’re experiencing performance anxiety is to use the Selfish Pervert frame.
How it works is that you completely let go of trying to please her, and instead you focus on pleasing yourself instead.
You’re going to take the time to explore her body and do what you want to do because this moment is all about you, and she’s just along for the ride.
Strangely enough, she’ll end up having a great time any ways.
Many guys don’t realize this but a lot of women actually get off from watching YOU get off.
Concentrate on pleasing yourself. Treat her as a sex doll more or less. Lead the interaction.
Women get off on YOU getting off……..cause they’re probably wondering the same fucking thing……are they good enough……lol……and if you’re having a good time….they will also.
And GTF out of your head. Concentrate on this awesome naked girl in your bed….and have FUN with that……talk….laugh……have FUN…..lol
Got that also from Mikes Girl Guide……..fwiw
Z