I wouldn’t say i’m a necessarily bad looking guy but i’m also not a amazing look guy either. but i want to gain confidence to talk to girls that i think are out of my league even though they aren’t really. I can never gain the necessary confidence to start that conversation or how to keep them interested. Can i get some advice on how to start the conversation and how to keep them interested?
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Talking to women is a skill just like anything else. It’s something you can learn and master with practice.
Recommend reading the book, the game, to get an idea of what’s possible.
Please don’t take that book as a ” how-to”. The book is actually about male insecurity. However, it will give you a lot of insight into female behavior.
Look for girls that, if they reject you, it won’t sting as much. Like older women and somewhat ugly women. But when I say “ugly,” they might have one nice physical quality, like nice boobs, cute face, etc.
Ask them about themselves plus yes lower your standards I’ve always started with quite homely things that sometimes ended up lifetime platonic friends. A little tongue in cheek here but the first thing they do is introduce you to their friends. I have dated up to three friends before they all treated me like I had a disease
As long as you are overly self conscious about how anxious you are, you will end up acting that way. People will notice and feel that vibe coming from you. People notice the way you carry yourself and the vibes you give off. When you are nervous/anxious/overthinking/worrying about who you are and what you are, your verbal and nonverbal actions tend to show it. If you keep acting this way, people will stop associating with you because it’s a negative vibe. You are essentially conveying that you are indeed unworthy to hold a conversation with them or be around them and that they need to be constantly reassuring you. That’s not what you want to convey, and it’s nobody else’s job but your own to validate and reassure yourself. People gravitate towards self confidence, not anxiety.
Stop putting girls on a pedestal. Go out and Genuinely connect with them as you would with other people in real life e.g. ask how they are, their hobbies, interests, goals, opinions, etc. Listen and pay attention to what people say. Share those things about yourself when asked. People also subconsciously attach you to the value you bring. The value you bring is a clear, unique, and convincing reason why people will interact with you, let alone do so constantly. So Find ways to add value to their lives. Having In person interactions is the easiest way to stand out from countless people who text or message. People remember and favor in person interactions because of the positive vibes. If your hobbies, skills, talents align with their interests or can help them, bring it up and offer to help them. Finally, learn how to be genuinely busy in your life pursuing your goals and hobbies, while interacting with people on the side. People are hardwired to be repulsed by neediness and desperation and instead gravitate towards those who are self confident and well rounded in life. They want to see active confirmation of you actually doing something in your life other than just talking to them. So chase excellence, not people.