Living in the north of England. Our neighbours are friendly enough, always say hello etc.
Despite this, they seem to have a loud party at least twice a week, often on work nights, prepare food spices on a burner outside under our bedroom window every evening in the garden, and play loud music consistently throughout the evening.
Additionally, they park their cars on the kerbs (double yellows) restricting access on the pavement outside our house.
How do I approach them to ask them to cool the noise a bit, without damaging the friendly relationship we have?
10 comments
My sister had a really similar issue.
She just brought it up in conversation, said something like “I was wondering if you’d be alright to keep the noise down a little bit” her neighbours were extremely apologetic about it so then she said “not to go on and on but can you make sure you aren’t parking over the drive either”
Her neighbours would generally fit a stereotype of being difficult to live with but they’re actually lovely, just a bit unthinking at times.
The best “keep the noise down” interaction I had was when I asked a neighbour to pop round to ours and see if she thought the noise was too much. She instantly noticed how much she was impacting other people.
Won’t work with everyone but it worked that time.
That’s quite a few separate issues, I’d pick the most important one or two to focus on (loud party and music?) for the best chance of success. Also, you might find the other things less annoying and noticeable if you’re not on edge from noise pollution any more.
I’d say it’s time to move.
“Oh ok, I’ll keep the noise down” said no disrespectful neighbour ever.
The kind of people that think it’s ok to play loud music any time of the day at all will think you’re the one being unreasonable by mentioning it. I hope you get very lucky and they turn out to be very reasonable.
Well you could call the authorities in about the parking issues if it really bothers you.
The other things you might get accused of being racist if you bring it up.
Go around and chat to them when you’re relaxed and calm, and not when the disturbance is happening.
Two reasons: by making friends with them through open conversation, your own tolerance levels will increase. Secondly, a friendly approach where you are effectively enlisting their help in resolving a neighborly issue is the most likely to work.
Eg: “Hi, I’m your upstairs neighbor FirstName LastName. Although I love the smell of your cooking /those tunes, I’ve got really early mornings on weekdays. I don’t know what your work schedule is like, but could we figure something out together? Maybe a cutoff time or different days?”
As another poster said don’t address it while the disturbance is happening, but do address it directly and not through a note or anything. Use your experience to say, ‘I have to work unfortunately and the noise is disruptive to my sleep’ and then ask them to keep the noise down. An invite for a cup of tea or other gesture might also emphasise goodwill while encouraging them to be more considerate of you.
none of that is worth hearing “hello”
of course, best to have friendly neighbour, you never know if you might need favor, or just for the more relaxed atmosphere, but those things you mentioned absolutely take priority.
It sounds like a cultural thing. If it is, you have NO chance. All you can do is move to a less culturally enriched place so their family can buy your house. It’s called ethnic cleansing, but it’s fine. Everything is fine.
I’m mostly intrigued about what “food spices” they are preparing on a burner underneath your window…