This sounds like he had not included me with his friends, but now significant others are part of the group chats where they previously has not been. He was always welcoming though. But now I feel more like a friend instead of “John’s wife.” We even have a girls-only group chat. Everyone is so kind and welcoming and it is making me emotional because I realize I have never had a solid group of friends. I have individual friends but never a big group. It just feels really NICE to be included in the conversation, not sidelined and actually listened to. I made a joke with his friends the other night and everyone laughed and high-fived me. With my friends through my whole life I have been the quiet one and never felt comfortable. I basically have to always text my friends first and sometimes they don’t respond. I am really very grateful. Also I sound so lame now haha

42 comments

  1. I don’t have anything useful to say but that’s awesome! I’m really happy for you OP!

  6. I know exactly what you mean. There is just something so wonderful about being part of a group. As a kid it’s all I ever wanted and when I finally got one via a boyfriend who had a big, close friend group, it was everything I hoped it would be and more. I hope to find that again one day.

  8. Heck yeah. Sounds like you found some good ppl

    Be sure to demonstrate how much you appreciate them, so they know how much it means to you!

  10. Oh this sounds beautiful. Different groups have different “cultures”. It’s great that this is such a wholesome group. 🙂

  12. That is AWESOME! I’m glad you have a friend group and a solid support system. I’d also use this as an opportunity to really CONTINUE to make progress. Remember that WHAT you say isn’t as important as HOW you say it. People feel close to others when they make an emotional connection, so be a bit more expressive than normal — take whatever emotion you’re feeling and amplify it by 10-20 percent. That’s how you gradually get more comfortable unleashing the Real You that’s buried inside.

    If you’re not used to talking with a bit of passion, practice at home in front of a mirror or while talking to pets. Get used to the sound of your own voice and what it sounds like when you’re enthusiastic about life.

    Go for it!

  13. This makes me so happy🥺🥺 congrats girl you just made my day reading this. Thank you for sharing something so positive 💖🥺

  16. This sounds awesome. You’ve found some great folks and I’m happy for you.

  19. It’s not lame, it’s huge! The feeling of being accepted is such a high. We all long to be accepted and if you’ve been in a group of friends that are not really your ‘jam’, you may have felt isolated for so long that it’s become normal. This is huge!

  20. I get emotional and start crying whenever I feel “included” and it’s really embarrassing. Really just when anyone appears to care about me at all lol.

  22. I love this!!! I’ve always had a group of friends, but was always an outsider. I’m much different than my friends so my path leads me all over where theirs kinda keeps them together. I have two kids on my own and they have zero, so I’m not even able to stay on their path most of the time. But a few years ago I was included in the group chat. Because I finally had a phone that I could participate with. And now that my kids are older I can do more with my friends. It’s such a good feeling! I feel like part of the band now! Not just the curtain puller. My friends have always loved me, and I’ve always loved them, but now we are all so close and it feels so good. I used to get down about never being a part of the group. I’d always see groups of friends and I’d feel sad. But a few weeks ago our group went camping. I was a part of the big group! It felt so good! And after that trip, we all felt it and will be doing it more often. I’m go grateful for my friends. I always have been, but now it just feels so much more real.

  25. That sounds really really amazing! I’m so happy for you! It just sounds like your husband is a really amazing guy in an amazing circle, hanging out with amazing people! Really hope that this happiness will stay and you guys always have blissful days!

    Hoping for me to get back to enjoying that again one day too though. I’ve lost my circles of friend groups and just enjoying it solo now. With just two really close friends.

    To lots of days filled with joy and happiness! 🌻

  29. Doesn’t sound lame at all! I’m glad you’re feeling appreciated and included and that you’ve found a good group of friends 😊

  32. A friend of mine has a close large group of friends. It really does feel good when you have a group you get along with and makes you feel included and appreciated. I always really enjoy when I get to get together with them. One thing is the energy of the group or some people that enhance the socializing.

  34. I found a friend group like this ab a year ago and its amazing to have so much support and love. Im glad you have that.

  35. i know EXACTLY what you mean and it really is an amazing feeling. my husband has had the same friend group since he was a pre-teen and i used to just be “the girlfriend” but as we’ve gotten older and entered adulthood, i’ve become an actual friend to these people and it makes me very emotional. these guys were in our wedding and it’s so surreal that i have friends lol.

    congrats on your new friend group! enjoy it!

  42. Reading your post made me very happy. My siblings and I struggle with stuff like this as we grew up in a very disfunctional family with a lot of generational trauma, it gives me hope reading stuff like this, well done you and thanks for sharing your positive vibes 😊

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