Husband (26m) and I (26f) have been together for 6 years and married for 3. I’ve been on birth control since we started dating and we lost our virginities to each other. I have never had a high sex drive, but we found a happy medium until now we haven’t.
I really don’t have any sort of sex drive now. I feel like it’s a chore, but I don’t want it to be. I absolutely love my husband and our relationship and connection is great other than sex. He wants me to be more adventurous/kinky/dominant but I’m just not. I don’t know how to change but I want to make him happy. I just feel like I have no drive at all to have sex. I’m on anxiety meds and the pill, and I’ve always wondered if that affects my drive. Thoughts?
5 comments
Seek medical advice for the both of you. Both physically and mentally.
The anxiety meds as well as the pill can affect libido. That doesn’t mean you should drop either, but I’d talk to my doctor about alternative meds of each perhaps.
Ive always had the “socially messy” suggestion of just saying => Maybe allow him to seek out a partner outside of the marriage that he can engage with sexually to explore the Kinky/ submissive side that’s he’s wanting to get to know more about himself.
Its hard, it takes A LOT of communication and its not always right for everyone but its just as fair that If it’s not something you feel you want / or can do and it’s not something you’re open to then you ABSOLUTELY shouldn’t have to do it.
BuT, that also works out the same way for him too, ya know? If its something he wants, is I terested in and it’s something that he wants to do but you’re not into it you shouldn’t be opposed to having that autonomy to explore it on his own or with someone else.
Not saying get divorced, but maybe an open relationship or discussing other types of non monogamous relationships might be something to explore.
Do you enjoy the sex when u guys do have it?
When sex was working for you, what was different in your life? Different meds? Less stress? Are you setting a mood, taking some hours and slowly getting into things? Have you told him to stop exerting any pressure to change your sexual attitude given that you currently aren’t *ever* in the mood?
Communicate, find a sex positive couples counselor (could help).