For the last few weeks I’ve (F25) been flirting with one of my co-workers (M25) who i really liked. He was flirting back and invited me to hang out with him multiple times. We had a plan to hang out last night when I received a text message from his phone number from someone claiming to be his girlfriend. She said that he wouldn’t be hanging out with me and I need to stop talking to him. This whole situation came as a major shock because my coworker never mentioned having a girlfriend and he was the one pursuing me. Now I feel sick and awful to my core. I feel like a bad person and also just gross in general. I won’t be working with him for a few days and I’m just wondering how I go about dealing with this when I do see him. Should I just ignore the situation? I’m really worried about things being awkward but I just want to basically pretend this didn’t happen and move on with work without any weirdness. Any advice? I just feel so bad and don’t know what to do.
tl;dr my flirty coworker had a girlfriend all along and never told me, now I’m feeling bad and weird and don’t know how to proceed
8 comments
If he didn’t tell you he has a girlfriend despite flirting and making plans to meet up, he’s the one who screwed up, not you. Sorry that happened.
The best advice might be to just pull back from engaging with him; in your shoes though, assuming this is sort of one coworker among many (which I’m assuming he is if you were considering dating him), I’d immediately be like “hey so do you have a girlfriend? And why is she texting me?”
I’d confront him completely and depending on how he answers, block his ass.
Have a think about why you’re feeling like a bad person. Did you do anything that you knew was wrong? Did you set out to hurt anyone? Sounds like you were just caught up in his shady behavior and you’re planning to stay away from him now you know he has a girlfriend. Act professional with him at work, and move on.
Ask him if it is true. If it is ask him to leave you alone.
Also if true tell your boss and see if they will fire him.
How long have you worked together?
That sucks, but I wouldn’t beat yourself up too much because this dude was being tricky. I’d maybe ask him about it but absent that just be polite and professional.
This is why i live by don’t fish off the company dock
You are at the beginning of adult relationships. As you get older you’ll have set boundaries and no hesitation sticking with them. Enjoy yourself but set firm boundaries, and if they aren’t respected the Red Flag!!!