Guys, when was the last time someone genuinely checked on your mental health?

40 comments

1. People check on our mental health?

2. I do therapy once a week 😁

3. Even if I wasn’t in therapy, it is a standard part of the questionnaire that I fill out for my annual checkup.
   I answer the written/online questions, and they ask several about depression, sleep, anxiety, isolation, self-harm, and other possible indicators of mental issues.
   I had my last annual in February.

4. Outside of myself, not really anyone.

5. Everyone should take this stuff seriously

6. To be honest, I don’t think anyone has done so genuinely. I feel it was more to make themselves look better to others

7. If I feel like a completely different person (for better or worse) every time I hit a new mental low, does that count?

8. I have to pay people to do that every month LOL

9. Literally never.

10. Tried almost 10 years ago and didn’t worked. I was incapable to speak up about my problems.

11. Never! Never fucking never! I sought my own help thank goodness.

12. About a week ago. Doing regular therapy appointments in addition to having a close partner and dear friends I can confide in was one of the best decisions I ever made. It’s always great to have personal support groups, but I *highly* recommend adding in the objective perspective of a therapist or counselor whenever you can. I can be life-changing.

13. My girlfriend checked about an hour ago after we had a little.. misunderstanding I guess.

14. When I went to my therapist. That’s his job, I’m paying him for it.

15. Wait, that happens in real life?

16. Never

17. When I paid my therapist to do so

18. My homeboy joined the Xbox party, asked me if I was good. Said “naw but I’ll be straight…..thanks for checking up on me”. He said “ofc”. Then left the party and got off. That was in 2019. (Don’t worry he’s still alive and well)

19. Basically never. Pretty frustrating right now actually. I have a friend that I’m always there for. Emotional support, advice, emergencies etc. My dog has been deteriorating rapidly over the past month and was just hospitalized today. Still no diagnosis. I’ve been a wreck for weeks and this weekend in particular has basically been an emotional crisis for me. I reached out to her 2 days ago. No response.

20. Why so you can use it against me?

21. Nobody has ever checked in on my mental health.

    As a dude, I have nobody. If I tell friends, they will act all weird about it, If I tell family It gets dismissed as nothing. The ONLY way I can get someone to actually listen to me is by paying someone to force themselves to listen to me.

    Nobody gives a shit when you’re a guy. Let’s be real here, the average dude has nobody to talk to this stuff about.

22. Week ago my ex wife checked on me

23. Been awhile.

24. I try my best to check on my boys more often than not. Maybe it’s because I’m dealing with my own mental shit, maybe it’s because it was pretty much trained into me.

    But listen gents… what we have here is kind of a fucked up family among us. Don’t hesitate to reach out to a fellow brother if you need to talk.

    I know most of you would agree that you’d help a fellow brother out, even if it’s just talk therapy via good ol reddit DMs.

    Let’s get a support train rolling.

    Comment if you’re open to having the brotherhood reach out.

25. What’s that

26. A few times a month at least. I find it a tremendously valuable resource to have friends and relationships that have depth, honesty and care.

27. on reddit (random r/teenagers posts), every damn day.

    irl, months

28. I had a friend die last night in a car accident. I told my main friend group about it. They are currently night swimming, according their snap stories. Only one of them even asked if I was ok. Now they excluded me from their plans on a day where I really need them. No one checks on me dude. No one gives a fuck about my mental health. And at this point I’m starting to not give a fuck about it either.

29. Lol, did you just watch John Oliver?

30. This saddens me (F) to hear.
    Please pick someone you can confide in. I know it’s not easy and as men you probably think you are just supposed to suck it up and deal with it. Unfortunately, your mental health will never improve if this is your way of thinking.
    Men tend to “put on a show” for fear of being made fun of. Others cannot help if on the outside you look like life is good or your words are saying everything is great.
    More awareness needs to happen, but it starts with men being open and honest about mental struggles.
    Men… you are not alone! I am a person that checks in on two of my male friends. There are certainly others out there just like me.
    I’ll listen as well. No judgement.

31. I’m a 22 year old college student who’s mental health had been on the decline when COVID happened. I got into a car accident in Sept. 2021 that totaled my car and dislocated my shoulder. I’m an a engineering student so my left arm being useless put me behind on my air engine project. This caused me to have to drop some important classes since I was in the lab almost all the time and I just couldn’t keep up. This put a burden on my shoulders because it put me a little behind in my major. This also pretty much broke me mentally because it made me feel like I shouldn’t be where I am in life. I also kept thinking the accident was my fault even though it wasn’t (got rear ended by someone going 80 in a 35). OTW home from Christmas with the family I just broke down crying in my mom’s car because at that point everything had just been held in for way too long. I had too much self hate and couldn’t take it anymore. Since then though my mom, dad, aunt, & grandma have been checking in on me to make sure I’m fine. Since that moment my mental health has been getting so much better. (Sorry, this was a long one)

32. Its been a long time but I need to take the answer in a different direction:

    I started being there for my guy friends and even acquaintances. Shit started getting real weird real fast. At first I’d literally just stfu and ask qenuine questions and let them go as far as they were comfortable. That said I never declared “yo man. Spill the beans.” If stuff came up then it came up and i never diverted unless they wanted to.

    My gay friends started telling me they were in love with me and my older “men amongst men” acquaintances started seeing me as their son. Sometimes dudes would straight up get angry and bordeline violent.

    We don’t know how to handle our emotions man. But I tried to change that and im starting to see why things are the way they are. Im not saying I’m OK with it but im saying I understand now.

33. The thing is, it goes both ways. A lot of guys find it hard to open up, but a lot of guys are like deers in the headlights when friends eventually try and be open and honest. They just are not equipped to deal with hearing a friend say that they are not okay. So guys don’t ask, because they don’t know how to to deal, or what to say, and we know that, because we would be the same.

    So I don’t blame anyone for not wanting to ask me “really, how are you doing?”. I’d rather seek professional help if I felt I needed it.

34. Never. I’m married and if I say I’m having a hard time I’m told to “suck it up” or to “man up”. I’ve learned that when she asks how I’m doing its best to just say “good” because it always backfires or gets used against me at a later stage even if at that moment she has good intentions.

35. Never. I’m a sperm donor and put on earth to do nothing but work and provide. Men can’t have bad days, we can’t have off days, we can’t relax. We can’t sit down for an hour. I come home from work and am handed my children (not complaining about this. I LOVE my kids and would do anything for them) so my wife can sit down and relax after her long day of spending the money I work for.

36. Never. No one ever does. If I didn’t have a son that needed me here – I’d have ended things long ago.

    Mental health doesn’t matter if you’re a man. Toughen up. Take care of shit. Everyone assumes we’re ok until we run out of reasons to pretend we are. Then they act shocked.

37. About 2 years ago. I was really down and depressed about some stuff in my life. I always thought I was good at putting on a front and masking my feelings.

    A buddy who I wasn’t really that close to called me out of the blue. He said he felt compelled to call me, that he sensed something was off with me. He was right, but I didn’t know what to say. He continued, saying that he had dealt with depression and that if I wanted to talk I could.

    I was touched. I never said anything about my situation, yet he just seemed to pick it up.

38. Never.

39. Never!

40. Never