There’s a dude at my office who’s made it no secret that he doesn’t like me, so much so that he’ll pack up and leave the lunch table when I sit down.
Every second business day (to keep it fresh) I’ll purposefully go to the table when he’s only just started to eat.
Without fail he’ll pack it up and eat at his desk.
I’m typing this as I’m sitting at the lunch table, watching him move crap around on his desk to make space for his lunch.
He hasn’t figured it out yet, it’s been happening since probably February.
So how about you fellas, what’s your petty workplace power move?
47 comments
Why doesn’t he like you?
Farted in the microwave
Thankfully I don’t have any coworkers like this, but I’d just make something I know they don’t like for the potluck
He brought fish for lunch and put it in the microwave
Tell my boss I need to focus on this one thing today. I know for a fact no one else is capable besides him. He won’t if I’m there. When I’m fucked all week and have no help I’ll throw that at him. Then the lazy fucks can do the shit work while I’m chilling so they all get mad.
When someone messages me “Hi” I do not respond.
I’ll respond when they post whatever it is they’re messaging me about.
Protein Powder under my desk
Your reaction to someone avoiding you is to hurt them.
I am sarcastic to the point that people probably think I’m a cunt.
His attitude is pretty childish if you ask me, but so is yours.
Some of us just like to eat alone. Gotta deal with people all day; leave us be for 30 minutes…
Microwaving fish.
When a manager threatens to PIP me for not being accessible 24/7 in a remote work atmosphere. The last time a boomer PM did that, I turned off my PC and quit working altogether. I collected paychecks till they fired me while working my two other remote jobs.
I used to deliver propane (residential) and the routes inevitably had bad stops. Like long hose pulls or up steep driveways or down embankments etc. You could put stops off for a little while during summer because of lack of use. We drivers were always having to take our vacations during summer because it was slow season. One driver that had a few of these bad stops would pass them up during the weeks before his vacation. Well I was a new driver the first time this happened. I would have to do his stops when he was on vacation. All the bad stops came up on that week’s deliveries (vacation week for him) and so I’d have to do them. Well I’m a quick learner and never said anything about it, but remembered. The following year he pulled the same stunt. Well this time I did all the stops except the shitty ones (you could look up accounts on a hand held pc to see if they had been on the route previously and not filled) He came back from vacation and had to do all the shitty stops that he’d been passing up the weeks prior to his vacation. Needless to say you can only bypass accounts for so long before they needed to be hit. So his week back from a nice vacation turned into a week of hell because of his own BS.
shit on debra’s desk
I make the coffee. They pissed me off once and the coffee maker disappeared. Even the boss was confused; asked about it once; and then let it go after I told him that “they would get coffee back when I’m good and ready.” He wasn’t a coffee drinker so he didn’t care much.
How has he “made it no secret he doesn’t like you” other than not sitting with you at lunch? Does he do other stuff? Maybe he prefers to eat alone.
I’m never petty in the workplace, because it never ends and becomes a waste of energy and a purpose in and of itself. I’m probably more straight up honest in the workplace than anywhere else because it’s about getting the work done and not taking things personally or being personal.
This sounds like way too much effort for me to care about. Best of luck wasting your time OP.
I’d recommend moving on and using your time and energy for something more productive.
Confront the issue head on with a best “effective communication” as I can muster.
It confuses the shit out of them and they get so busy being self conscious I basically disappear into their background
So glad you asked
Steal a mouse
Make the mouse left handed
Lock the bathroom door after leaving
Hide the toilet paper
Remove paper from printer
Not me but the project manager. She will send my ticket back to clarify things that are very clear in the title or the screenshot. Honestly any 8 year old who read the ticket for longer than 15 seconds would be able to answer her. Drives me mad
I work in IT at a big distribution center. A lot of users like to put their issues at HIGH PRIORITY when they obviously aren’t (new mousepad, new scanner, computer needing turned on and off again, etc.) The users I don’t like get set to low priority. Not much but it makes me feel better
Not at work but at home, with my brother.
So my brother was sent out to pickup some wood for a small construction thing my dad is doing. He took my car (Jeep Cherokee) as his (Subaru Outback) was “too small” which is bullshit but I digress.
Anyway he gets back home and doesn’t unload the wood (wasn’t a ton, probably 8-10 2×4’s worth) and left it in my car to “unload later” which he did not do.
Bastard.
Therefore being the big generous brother I unloaded half of it into the garage and half into his car so I wouldn’t deprive him of the opportunity.
Fast forward 2h or so, we are over at our moms (who is ~5min away), I arrive first, he follows about 30mins later. He walks in a doesn’t mention anything about he wood which I thought was odd. Fast forward again a little while later I have to head back to my dad’s, and find he unloaded the wood back into my car.
Little shit
I also noticed he made sure to lock his car so I couldn’t put it back (my trunk doesn’t lock). So I head back to my dad’s and carry the remaining wood up to his room and lay it out on his bed so he wouldnt forget. Note I actually had to go through the garage and up a flight of stairs to do this.
I will never surrender.
Arbitration was held by the parental units and we each brought half of what was in his room down. Then the next day my dad found it was the wrong wood so I had to load it all up back to the jeep, go return it and get the right stuff AND unload all of it (into the garage this time).
TL;DR life’s not fair
you weren’t close enough with your co-worker enough to make fun of his dog and call it a gremlin. OP, you should work on your social skills and the other person should work on not getting too butthurt. but he got butthurt because you weren’t that close apparently.
“Bros, What’s your ultimate way of showing that you’re a miserable petty asshole at the workplace?”
That’s pretty much what I read.
Not sure if it counts, but I like telling it:
Every day my coworker is out because they’re “sick”, I scoot my desk forward into their space a fraction of an inch. Been at it since November and gained around 8 inches. The one time they almost noticed the difference I explained it away by stating we’d moved the conference table in the middle of the room and it is what made her feel that way.
This is absolutely harassment.
I’m not on your side.
That person is allowed to not like you.
You are not allowed to make it a hostile work environment
Behave like a human being
What I usually do is insult the person’s dog and then get in their personal space during lunch break
I really hope I see the flip side to this story posted somewhere on Reddit.
“Guy at work who I absolutely hate, always waits until I start eating to come sit at the same table as me”
I’d die of laughter
I don’t do any power move shit. It’s an office, not a kid’s playground.
My dad worked as a tool grinder at a shop for over 30 years. Everyday he would go into work wearing a solid color shirt. One day he matched shirts with his boss. My dad cracked a few jokes about his boss “copying him”. His boss reacted so negatively, the entire shop came up with a plan.
My dad starting bringing shirts of every color with him to work each day. He would have a coworker find out which color his boss was wearing and my dad would put that shirt on. The shop would take photos and caption it like “Twins!” then hang it around the shop.
My dad says he matched shirts every day for 90 days before his boss bought a new wardobe.
Being more capable, more productive, and working less than my colleagues so I can make it to the C-suite sooner rather than later is my power move.
I’m only one step away on the food chain after four years of figuring out the best way to play the game.
OP, you seem pretty unlikable. You’re just looking for a confrontation. I’d stay away from you too. You’re actively trying to create a shitty work environment. Do yourself a favor and stop antagonizing the guy. Don’t be a petty little man, it isn’t a good look, bro.
Why be a dick? Does it make you feel good about yourself? You need help.
It happened while I was in the Army. I had this super sweet gig: I taught battlefield trauma medicine to brand new military docs and I coordinated trauma surgery classes. We were part of the Defense Health Agency, which is basically in charge of military medicine. We also fell under the American College of Surgeons. It was some high speed shit. With some high visibility and importance.
I was an E-4 and my supervisor was the best NCO I ever had. He just happened to be an Air Force E-5. Let’s call him A. One thing the Army likes doing is making change for the sake of change. They replace him with an other Air Force E-5, but she was awful. Let’s call her J. I expressed my concerns to my E-6 and E-7, but they didn’t care. I even said I wanted to have that spot, but she could have the “glory.” I just wanted to make sure the Admirals and Generals we worked with were getting an adequate product.
Part of the coordinating involved sending in a lot of paperwork to the ACS. This paperwork needed to be accurate because we could lose accreditation if our shit was fucked up. When A was in charge of me, he was a damn hawk when it came to double checking. If you accidentally put 2 spaces between a word, he would find it. He did his job well enough that the E-6 above him didn’t even check his work.
With J in charge, I decided to be petty by testing her ability to double check. It was pretty obvious stuff: I’d screw up a cover sheet, the course number would be incorrect, I might have the completely wrong date, I might have the completely wrong list of instructors. I did this for like 5 months. Not once did she come to me with my mistakes. In fact, she even told me she trusted me so much that she never even checked my work. She took the initiative to fax my paperwork to ACS, which is totally my responsibility. The kicker was I had the accurate paperwork on my desktop, I was just waiting for her to come to me so I could fix it.
While this was going on, shit was hitting the fan in the department. All the good workers were leaving because our E-7 made it a miserable place to work. I had a heart to heart with my E-7 about the office. I admitted what I did. He moved me to a different department because I was “delusional.” J didn’t get in any kind of trouble. I figure karma hit her though: 7 years later and she is still an E-5 and will retire as that. A is an E-7 and won awards at each of his commands since then.
You sound like a miserable bastard
Harassing fellow coworkers who don’t like you because you’re annoying isn’t a power move, it’s actually just pathetic.
A workplace power move would be organizing a union.
I’m a fairly big dude, working in a predominately female environment. Elderly healthcare, we do in-home care where we drive around and assist people to help them live better lives and longer in their own homes, as opposed to in government homes.
Many of these elderly have a little button on their wrist or necklace called a Security alarm. Naturally in case they fall or have an incident that they need some help with.
As one of the “dudes” in this precinct, I get called up a lot to assist with these “fall/or other” alarms. Simply because I am a dude and can apparently sacrifice my own back at least three times as much as any woman on the job.
Naturally, I oblige, BUT, sometimes these alarms come in during my lunch break. And that’s when I get petty.
I don’t mind that much being objectified as “big/strong”. But There’s a big chasm in this line of work specifically. I only have one back, and I’ve got to take care of that for the next 50 years myself. Please let me just give a littlebit less of a shit about yours when I get asked constantly to help with lifts and manouvers.
Well my job could kill me if I piss off the wrong people. So I just perform competently and watch the due I don’t like fail at his job. Problem is its a union gig and he can’t be fired easily.
I don’t like to play games and I don’t like it when others try to play them with me.
As a mature adult, I treat all my coworkers with respect and courtesy even if I don’t like them or if they don’t like me. If they want to avoid me or don’t want to talk I give them space but I still politely acknowledge them because snubbing people is also a fucking game.
My advice; don’t play games. You never know who will be moving up in a company and it’s best not to have enemies or a bad reputation.
Judging by your responses, maybe you should stop being a dick to this guy and let him eat his lunch in peace?
This sounds like potentially creating a hostile work environment, which could leave you in trouble with HR if he complains. Please don’t do this. If this guy doesn’t want to sit with you, grow up and find people who want your company (or sit by yourself).
After finding out why he doesn’t like you, I just want to remind you that you’re a douchebag piece of shit.
You sit at a lunch table?
No wonder he doesn’t like you, you sound like a wanker.
OP called dude’s dog a gremlin and is now harassing him.
This is not a power move, but an asshole move.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/werx6s/bros_whats_your_ultimate_petty_workplace_power/iiq1o21/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
I can see why he doesn’t like you.. just leave the dude alone and mind your business.