We have been married for almost 2 years in october. And we have a 9 month old baby. She went to Norway to work in 2018. We talked for a while before we she came to Norway. We didnt meet much while she was working. But we still ended up deciding to get married so she can stay here with me.
But here is the thing.. Before she moved in with me, I did nothing but play game and do nothing all day. But i have a full time job. When she first moved in with me. We did both all of the different chores. But as time went on I started to be more and more on my pc.
And now we barely talk together. She does pretty much all of the work with the baby and the house work. I really love her and every night i think. “tomorrow i Will change and i Will not be on my pc” but guess what. It didnt happen. She does really show care for me while i do nothing back. Like she allways make my food for work for me before she goes to bed. She started doing that a few months ago. Not sure why im like this but i want to change and show more care for both her and my daugher. I was pretty depressed before she moved in. Maybe its still some it left.
5 comments
That’s great that you’re looking to change! I know from experience how easy it is to let time slip away on the computer despite your best intentions, and depression makes everything so much harder.
Something that’s worked for me is using the child controls on the computer to “lock myself” out of using it outside a certain window of time or for a certain amount of time. Obviously, I can override it, but it requires steps and that extra work reminds me of my commitment not to do it so I don’t.
Best of luck to you with this! It’s hard, but I know it’ll be worth it to grow closer with your wife and daughter!
/r/StopGaming is the sub for you.
And read each of these, because this is very serious:
[Why I Don’t “Help” My Wife](https://www.apost.com/en/blog/why-i-dont-help-my-wife/2629/)
[What Is The Mental Load? The Invisible Labor Falling On Women’s Shoulders](https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/what-is-the-mental-load)
[The Walk Away Wife Syndrome](https://couplestherapyinc.com/walk-away-wife/)
[She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes by the Sink](https://matthewfray.com/2016/01/14/she-divorced-me-because-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink/)
If you truly want to change and sounds like you do taking time out to write this- take a sledge hammer to the PC and get the root of your problems taken care of.
Get rid of the gaming pc and buy a junky laptop that can barely stream.
I left my ex because he sounded similar to you. Lazy, had a severe gaming addiction, and was not interested in sex. After I left him, he admitted that he finally went to therapy and found out he was depressed. I believe that fed into his gaming addiction. Which, good for him for going to therapy, but too little too late. I deserved better. Your wife will realize soon, if she hasn’t already, that she deserves a partner who is present in the relationship. Talk is cheap. Change now or suffer the consequences.