Sooner rather than later, I will begin working overnights about 10-11 hours a night from about 9:30 PM to 7:30 AM. I am not sure how this will work between my girlfriend, who I have been dating for two years and love very much, and I. I would like to hear some advice for making it work and what I can do to keep each other close.
4 comments
My wife works 3rd. I work a 12+ hr shift starting at 2pm. We make our life work by puttin in the effort to be together. Sometimes it means i get very little sleep or vise versa, but it is worth it to be toghether when we can.
Opposite schedules are great. Love them.
Opposite schedules can be a relationship builder or a relationship destroyer if you let them.
The mistake I made in my marriage was that I didn’t treat my night shifts as if I was back in a dating phase with my partner, where working opposite schedules meant seeing less of each other, and instead of allowing that to make me excited to see her, I just became a workaholic and we slowly drifted apart.
Make time for each-other. Date each-other every day. You’ll do just fine. Don’t get caught up in your job, it might not be there for you the next day; but she will if you let her. Just remind her every day that you love her, and show that to her. You two will succeed, friend.
Do your best to get the same two days off per week. That cane make all the difference.
Aside from that, don’t stop courting her just because you’re together now. The number one reason relationships end is because people stop trying as much as they did when they first met. Back when you gave your best efforts to impress the other person and make their lives better for you being around.
Yes, it’s work. You have to do what got you someone in order to keep them. And then you’ll appreciate each other because anyone with even average social awareness can tell when someone is going out of their way for them. You keep doing that, all the time.
Yes, there are exceptions, and sometimes you’re stressed out or beat from work, but that can’t be your every day. As long as you do that, and talk when there are problems that need to be discussed, you’ll be fine.