Hey all, just experienced my first proper heartbreak about a month or two ago and it’s been fine for the most part till I saw her a few days ago. Since then my mind has been a spiral and even though I mainly feel no feelings towards her, the pain from her actions and words still lingers. I did try to pull her aside when I did see her to ask if she’s okay with us seeing each other in person and being comfortable with it just to be nice but all she did was laugh and say “what’re you talking about” even though the last time we talked over text she said she wasn’t comfortable with it (about a week prior). I also did text her the other day after I saw her just to explain my intention there but she was being extremely cold and rude unwilling to talk to me or hear me out despite the multiple times she’s drunk called me or tried to facetime, call, and text me since it happened where I (out of kindness) talked to her since I did still care about her. Something that also irked me when she was here was her talking about a guy that’s been flirting with her and being overreactive with her facial expressions and words when talking about other guys which I’m fairly sure was just to get a reaction out of me. I’ve tried journaling about it a fair bit and it does help but I can’t help but keep thinking about the trauma from it. I just need some encouragement or advice on what I can do to keep moving past this and get the brain fog out.
Edit: for context, she’s pretty toxic and said I would hide her from my friends even though I wasn’t, would overreact to everything in the last few months of the relationship and would start arguments out of nowhere for no reason, never would try to do anything to improve her mental health despite her knowing she needs it or accepting my advice about how to help it (i suffered from the same problems as her), made me feel horrid for seeing my friends despite me seeing them maybe a couple of times a year, could never accept she was wrong about things or apologize for her wrongs, and made me feel uncomfortable with my sexuality at times
2 comments
Take it from a 55 yo ‘old lady’ that when it comes to relationships, break-ups will always suck. Some more than others. It takes experience to accept oneself as a human being, especially when confusing emotions are involved. It sounds like she needs time to mature into herself. Those antics you refer to is her feeling vulnerable. That’s why she’s pushing you away. It happens. Hell, I recently had it happened to me. It sucked, but I moved on. You have a pretty good grasp of the situation so my advice would be to keep journaling, spend time with your friends and trust that this feeling won’t last forever.
The first is always the worst champ. Keep your chin up!