I’m sorry if this post comes off as self absorbed, I’m genuinely curious about what it is about me that makes me “special” to guys in the past.
I’m not hot, I’m average leaning more towards ugly average than pretty average. I’m not the smartest but not the dumbest either. I don’t have a rockin body, just an average young mom body.
I’ve had guys that I either was friends with or had somewhat of a fling with text me months or years later asking how I am, how they can’t find anyone like me (doubt that), that they picture us together often and offer to help me in whatever.
I know a big portion is due to sex, they only want it particularly with me. But also they just want to talk to me, regular day to day conversations.
These men are funny, sweet, respectful and very hot so I know they wouldn’t struggle finding someone who is better than me in every aspect.
Is there any sincerity to not finding some like or better than a former partner of yours? Or is it just a gimmick to feel wanted? Like some of these guys have had serious relationships but claim no one treats them like I did or aren’t as fun to hangout with (even without sex)?
Again, not trying to sound weird, I’m genuinely curious
8 comments
They’re telling you what they think you want to hear, either because they want to get into bed with you or they don;’t want to hurt your feelings.
If it was one person i’d say they wanted you back but if it’s a few it sounds like they think your ego would be hurt if they told you what had been hapepning with others.
There’s no definitive answer to that.
Some might exaggerate, some might outright lie.
But I don’t think it’s that uncommon to get out of a decent relationship and find out that most other potential partners don’t treat you the way you learned to like during that time. And then you start comparing every candidate against that and figure out that it falls short.
In my case, the crushes I can’t let go are average at best, with flat bodies, nerd faces and subpar social skills. What hooked me was how their company felt and how easy it was to see that they actually liked me back and enjoyed my company just as enjoyed theirs. Looks fade away with time but stuff like that, or at least the memory of it, doesn’t.
It is a myth that men only want the most physically attractive of women. It is true that looks are the main thing men will notice in a woman, but if you treat him right, he is much more likely to want you, regardless of your looks.
you dont know how you are going to click with someone. it just happens and you dont even know it, it doesnt have anything to do with the looks or what you normally go for. my ex was always joking how she isnt my type and so on which is kind of true, she wasnt something i would usually go for but did it mean my feelings were less valid because of it? fuck no. if you find a real bond with someone it takes way more than your face, body or your hair colour for someone to think about you so deeply. applying that if these men were honest about their feelings. you dont forget a real bond just like that, the bond lives through you as well as the person and their habits/sayings/way of doing things. thats how you now you appreciate something too much and it can make a hard time for moving forward because you start looking for those things in other people or start freaking out when seeing them do something you didnt like your last partner doing. it takes some real balls to seperate that in your head and learn that people cant be compared. it takes some time to learn you cant assume anything just like that because of some experience or expect something because you already had that comfort or treatment. a few ups and a few reality checks and you are good to go i guess
Well, the older I get, the more unlikely it will be that I’ll be able to find a woman who hasn’t either been married or had a kid, so there’s that factor that weighs on me as surely as the grim specter of my inevitable mortality.
Also, women who are actually tall are rare as shit and I’ve only encountered a handful of them in my personal life, so without deliberately creeping on places where tall women might congregate, not exactly good odds that I’ll find another tall woman and be compatible with her and date her.
Well the one time I got drunk and admitted that to someone was because shes legit the only girl I dated that I cant say anything bad about and it’s just lame things didnt work out. She kinda suggested theres a chance in the future but idc I see one rejection as it even if I like them.
Maybe you just treat them right and you have an amazing personality.
Also you’d be surprised, it’s way harder for a guy to find a good girl then you might think. I’m in the same place, people ask me why I’m still single, do I have any new girls in the roster, “you’re hot you can get a girl without effort”…nope, it’s pretty hard. So they might just not have any better option.
And atleast for me once I get attached and comfortable with a girl she becomes the most beautiful, hottest girl ever, even if just seeing her on the street I wouldn’t look twice.