Hi! I (29M) is dating a 28F and everything is going great. We are entering our 3rd week and have been to like 6 dates. I have been over at her place multiple times and dates have always been great. We have kissed, made out, held hands, but haven’t really explored sexual intimacy. On our 5th date, I couldn’t hold it anymore so I told her that I really like her. She reciprocated this and told me that she likes me too. Everything is great and I like the reassurance. We are having a great time together!

However, she is a slow texter, which I think is a double edged sword. I also am a slow texter and we usually text like once or twice a day, sometimes no text at all on a single day. This is where my anxiety starts kicking in. I get really anxious waiting for her text back, I can’t stop looking at my phone every time I’m not doing things! I tend to overthink and start playing scenarios at my head like what if she changes her mind? Or what if she is talking to someone else? I need to learn how to deal with it and let the thing run it’s course.

I honestly think I need a therapist to address this anxiety. Am I mentally unhealthy? I have the anxious preoccupied attachment style.

Edit: My previous relationship had a lot of texting.

1 comment
  1. Totally understand!! What I do, in addition to therapy (was going before I (36/f) met current texter) is mute their notifications. I find it helps me not be preoccupied by the text tone & gets easier with practice..usually on days when I’m in a mood lol and keep your mind busy!! Hobbies, cleaning, laundry..the possibilities are endless!!! mindful/intentional practice takes time Hope this helps ✌️💜

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