Apologies in advance, I’m on mobile. Well I’m probably an idiot for asking this but I made this throwaway to keep anyones identity safe just in case. I (M22) am concerned my ldr girlfriend (F25) of 8 months isn’t real and is possibly a scammer. This should be an open and shut case but my mind has been fighting what my heart wants to believe so I turn to you strangers of the internet to get some advice and perspective. To make a long story short we met through Instagram with her reaching out to me and transitioning to WhatsApp by her suggestion. After a few months she confessed to liking me. Me, someone who hasn’t been with someone for years accepted. She was excited and has been saying she wants to move to where I live to be with me since we’ve been together. However despite these claims we have never spoken on the phone or through video call despite my asking (she had said we would soon and then soon never came… multiple times) and the only thing I’ve been able to glean from her is that she is a crypto investor. To keep things brief here are a few of the things that have been adding to my doubt besides the “maybe next times/when I’m free”:

– all her photos look like they are taken from a third party, even some of the selfies look too well modelled.
– Large intricate tattoos on large areas that are in one picture and gone later (she claims they were fake and she washed them for her next one).
– Has changed her WhatsApp number three times in the span of two days to “avoid creeps” which could be true regardless.
– Asks me for gift cards.
– Has avoided giving me names of her family and friends, stating I’ll meet them one day.
– Wanted to get me to invest in crypto for our future despite my hesitation.
– Wanted my bank account details to deposit a cheque.
– Wanted me to open a second phone line for her to use.
– and lately, sending a one or two messages in the afternoon then disappearing for the rest of the day and sometimes all the next day.

I know I should probably be able to tell myself but my heart really wants to overlook all this and makes me feel scared that if she is real then I’d be ruining things. So good people of Reddit, any advice?

TLDR: I am worried my gf of 8 months may be a scammer due to a bunch of red flags yet despite them my brain and heart are at war on the off chance she isn’t.

42 comments

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  3. If it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck, and shits like a duck… It’s a duck. Sorry, friend. Think this is a con artist.

  4. Assuming this isn’t a fake post, you’re being scammed. Please tell me you didn’t actually give this guy your bank details… If you did, you need to call your bank literally right now and put a freeze on your account because it WILL be drained.

  7. I didn’t even need to read half the story – as soon as I saw that you haven’t even spoken on the phone, and that you’ve attempted video calls and she refuses – that’s a scam, 100%.

    ​

    Now That ‘m reading even the slightest skim – she’s trying to get you to give her money. Dude. I hope that just putting it all in writing made it as obvious to you as is it to anyone else reading it.

  8. >However despite these claims we have never spoken on the phone or through video call despite my asking (she had said we would soon and then soon never came… multiple times)

    Your GF is probably a dude and you are a text book example of how people allow themselves to get manipulated and taken advantage of…here is a pro tip. Only date people in your area, that you can meet in person. There should be no shortage.

  10. How can you consider your girlfriend someone you never met, never video called, and never even talked on the phone with? You’ve just been writing to each other. This could be a 65 year old man or even a bot you’re calling your girlfriend. Wake up dude!

  11. 1000% a scammer and you have fallen for it.

    Hope you haven’t sent them any money or gift cards.

    But surely this post must just be trollbait as no one can be this naive!!

  12. Depression and loneliness are powerful tools for scammers. Try meet people in real life

  13. As soon as she asked you to send or invest money or anything with monetary value, that’s where it becomes definite that your fears are true. That’s the first thing I was looking for after I read the title.

    Sorry, I know these people are really good at preying on the emotions of the lonely. 🙁

  16. You should have blocked them the first time they refused to video chat. Break up and block “her” now.

  17. You are being catfished buddy. Hope you have not shared anything personal with “her” (nudes, financial details..)

  19. Tell “her” that you have a medical emergency and are desperately trying to scrounge up $500. Watch how fast she vanishes.

  20. Oh no no no, you’re 22, I’d have thought you have more sense than us OLDIES.

    Did you actually tell them/her your bank account information?

  22. thats a scammer my dude ..im surprised someone your age is that gullible to fall for this so long

  23. Here’s an idea my guy. Why don’t you read your post back to yourself and pretend you’re an objective outsider. Then answer whether you think the person the post is about is getting scammed or not. If you come up with any other answer that isn’t scam, read it as many times as needed until you come up with the right answer.

    Total scam

    Do not pass go

  25. She’s probably not even a woman. “She” is part of a huge business on Instagram and other social media. These people show up on your account asking to follow you. Then the talking starts, just simple small talk. They generally only have a few select pics which you can probably google search. The pics are usually stolen from a real account but that person has no idea it’s happening. The minute they ask for gift cards you know it’s a huge scam and they want your money not you. Do yourself a favor and quit thinking “she” even exists. You’re probably one of a hundred men she’s trying to bait in a day. I really hope you didn’t give her anything and if you did don’t be embarrassed , these are pretty smart scammers and they have a formula they go by. You aren’t alone. Bottom line NO MORE MONEY! Save you money and go on a trip and you might meet a real girlfriend.

  26. You call her your girlfriend but in the 8 months you’ve “known” her, you’ve never met her, never had a video call and, in fact, you’ve never *spoken* to her? So your relationship consists only of email and/or instant messages? Even if she’s not a scammer (protip: she is), at best she’s a pen pal.

  27. Asks me for gift cards.

    Wanted to get me to invest in crypto for our future despite my hesitation.

    Wanted my bank account details to deposit a cheque.

    Ding ding here we have a winner, she is trying to scam you, as soon as they ask for money but won’t talk to you or video chat you know it is a scam. Sorry but you know in your heart what it is too many red flags.

  28. “Ask me for gift cards.” Hate to break this to you, but that’s a scammer. Also, tell “her” that you’ve just got into a major car accident and need $1,000.

  31. She is not your GF. You are paying “her” to date you.

    It’s a huge scam.

  32. I’m ready to be downvoted to oblivion, but someone you have never met is not your girlfriend. She’s just someone you chat with online. Yes this is a scam.

  33. This can’t be real.

    Your girlfriend of 8 months who you’ve never met and has vanishing tattoos and asks you for gift cards and bank account details is acting suspicious??

    My dude. I hope you didn’t give her any of that.

  35. Dude.

    This has to be a troll post.

    Really? Like I’m old enough to be your *mom* and I can figure this one out.

  36. There’s no way this is real. No way someone can actually think “yep seems legit.”

  38. if the tattoos appearing and disappearing wasn’t enough then the asking for gift cards should have been lmao

  40. Ask her to send you a pic of her holding up 3 fingers. I’m 99% sure she is a scammer, and this will verify that.

  42. Bro you need to be more careful in life. If someone can take you for a ride for 8 straight months, there’s lot more in store for you.

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