Every now and then, my husband gets into a miserable mood. I don’t think much of this: he may mope around a little bit and I think most of us get like that.
However, when he gets into those moods, he has an extremely short fuse and everything I do suddenly angers him. For example, if he is in a bad mood and I hum or sing too much, he said he has an intense urge to tell me to shut up.
Yesterday I was watching the women’s football on my phone at a medium volume while he was driving and listening to music. He said the noise was too much and he saw red and felt like telling me to turn off the football. To put this into perspective: I NEVER watch football (it was a big game in the U.K.) whereas he watches it multiple times a week on his phone with the volume up and I have no issues with this.
Another example, if he is in ‘that mood’, he said he gets intensely angry if a piece of my clothing is on the floor – even though his own clothes might also be on floor. He said in that moment he’s only able to see everything I do wrong.
It makes me really sad that he has these thoughts towards me without me knowing, unless he tells me (usually after me asking if he is ok, to which he’ll say he’s fine until I successfully dig deeper). I usually never have these thoughts about him.
Does this sound like an anger management issue? Or something else? He briefly mentioned considering therapy but his dad has been in therapy for years which has not helped him so my husband is unconvinced.
TL;DR: when my husband is in a bad mood, everything I do angers him. It upsets me. Is this an anger management issue or something else?
1 comment
Therapy only works if you make the effort. You do nothing with the advice you’re getting, you get no results.
It does sound like he’s aiming his anger at you when he gets frustrated. It has nothing to do with you personally, it’s just convenient. It’s learned behaviour that could be adapted. You don’t have to be around that. You’re now willing to look for solutions, but there’s going to be a day you’re sick of him and his pissy moods.