So my girlfriend has said many times that she’s always thinking about sucking my dick and wanting to try other things, but is very shy and submissive and wants me to guide her during sex. She basically wants me to dominate her is my understanding because she says she gets nervous and doesn’t know what to do to please me and get me off. She has sucked my dick before and she says she likes it but barely does it because she feels awkward just pulling my pants down and going at it. I guess I’m asking how do I go from kissing her to getting her to blow me or go from eating her out to getting her to blow me? It would be a giant mood killer if I straight up asked her to do it so I was wondering if u guys have any tips on ways I could guide her without killing the mood or actually having to say it verbally. Thanks in advance and sorry if the question doesn’t really make sense, I tried my best to explain it
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> So my girlfriend has said many times that she’s always thinking about sucking my dick and wanting to try other things, but is very shy and submissive and wants me to guide her during sex. She basically wants me to dominate her is my understanding because she says she gets nervous and doesn’t know what to do to please me and get me off. She has sucked my dick before and she says she likes it but barely does it because she feels awkward just pulling my pants down and going at it.
It just sounds like it’s because she’s new to things. I think just normalizing it would go a long way. Doing it more often or making intimate contact a more casual kind of a thing. Something as simple as sliding her hand over your penis while you’re clothed and doing something non-sexual is a simple way to just sort of… make it “normal” in her brain to do those things. I remember in my first sexual relationship we spent a lot of time just kind of “exploring”. Not going straight to sex not heavy making out with wandering hands but just… feeling things… talking about things (“did you know I have a birth mark right over here?”) … testing things (“hey what does it feel like when I do this”, “do you like this better or this”)… but not with the mindset of like… lets cum asap. That more casual process of learning each other’s bodies while talking about it made it easier to communicate in sex and less of a big deal when the next time came for sex stuff.
> I guess I’m asking how do I go from kissing her to getting her to blow me or go from eating her out to getting her to blow me?
Put your hand on the back of her head and give a gentle force in that direction (not enough to force her to go there if she doesn’t want to, but enough so she feels you kind of bringing her down there. If she starts moving down to do it, bring your hand down with her. You can help her by unbuttoning your pants or, again, you can put your hand on hers and gently bring it toward the button of your pants. Use body language and listen to hers.
If if you’re both too shy to just say it and do it, delegate responsibility. Get or make some dice, cards, coins, etc. and let those decide what you do. Literally, roll some dice where different results mean different acts.
> It would be a giant mood killer if I straight up asked her to do it
“Dirty talk” is a common turn on for people and definitely something that plays a role in “dominant” dynamics, so I wouldn’t say it’d be a mood killer necessarily. Also, since it seems like this is about her being basically too shy/inexperienced, it really might help if you guys do become comfortable saying these things out loud. You just have to find non-clinical ways to ask her and set up the context so that by the time you ask her you both feel a little turned on.
This isn’t a now rescinded military policy. Don’t ask, DO tell.
When kissing, if standing, just stop and command “On your knees.” If sitting just put your hand on her head and push it down. If she loves it as much as she claims she’ll get to work in both of these scenarios.