I’m a girl (25) and never had sex. I have a boyfriend now and we want to have sex, but I’m scared of the pain. I know it hurts the first time and I’m super scared of that. I don’t like pain. Everytime we try to have sex it gets in my head that it will probably hurt and then I have a lot of stress. My boyfriend is luckily super understanding but I hate it for him that it doesn’t work. Does anyone has tips for me to be more relaxed or something?
5 comments
You could use a lot of lube and a dildo to pop your cherry and at your own pace and then you would have to worry about it happening during sex.
It doesn’t have to hurt the first time. It normally does because of the general lack of experience in both sides, so you guys don’t wait for you to get wet enough, and it takes a lot anyway.
So lube could help, or you could not have penetration for a while, just fingers. You can’t become relaxed magically, don’t force something that you’re scared of. Just do what you are comfortable doing
I know one way that will definitely reduce the pain if you’re going to have any is taking advantage of the fact that under the right conditions your vagina is designed to dilate big enough to pass a newborn baby through it. Also part of that dilation and contraction is the the action of an orgasm so if you wait until you’re having an orgasm hopefully from him going down on you he’s going to be able to slip inside you with less trauma you know almost like the way a car is pulled into a car wash once it hooks up and gets pulled through. Sorry to be so Automotive about it but it will definitely make everything go smoother it should actually be a law that a guy doesn’t go inside doing until you’re having an orgasm because we’re like Tonka toys and sometimes a girl could be like a startup sequence for the space shuttle it’s more intricate and if he gets overwhelmed and ejaculates right away and you’re already in the middle of an orgasm it’s not a deal breaker it’s actually a good thing because you’re having a mutual orgasm and that’s on every girl’s bucket list it’s not an easy thing to achieve so it’s going to take a lot of the anxiety out for both of you
Omg I lost mine at age 22 and it hurt like he’ll! Of course it didn’t help he was black
Provided you do a lot of foreplay and your partner generally cares about your well-being it doesn’t have to hurt, and if it does it’s not ‘crying and screaming in agony’ pain. From what I’ve gathered, it’s typically more of an ‘ouch, I bumped into a piece of furniture’ level of pain and it passes fairly quickly. Being tense or dry, or your partner being too rough is a bigger factor than your hymen (which might not even be intact, even if you’re a virgin).
You can try straddling him and lowering yourself onto him when you feel ready. That way you’re in charge and can stop at once if something feels unpleasant.