Yet he’ll ask for a blowjob or a handjob. I’m (24f), my boyfriend (25m) been together 5 years. We’ve done it when i’m on my period. He’ll use a condom. Recently he won’t do it even with a condom because it’s messy.
I get it, a guy has never had a period. When he told me no, he asked for a blowjob or handjob. I said no because I’m stuck with my period, where is my orgasm? I told him if he fucks me I’ll feel good too. When we’re done we could shower or something.
Am I being unreasonable? I got a little annoyed when he asked for a bj. He didn’t say he’ll do anything to help me feel good.
I’ll get over it, I’m not forcing him or anything. I’m respecting his boundaries, but this came outta no where. We’ve done it before, and hes never said there was a problem before.
What do I do?
21 comments
You can’t expect him to fuck you on your period. It certainly doesn’t mean you owe him a blowjob. Work on your communication as a couple or you could be doomed.
It’s probably not you. Look into it, maybe something is going on. I have never had a problem with it, and the only times I have not been wanting was because something else in life was happening. Check on him, make sure he is okay and the two of you are in a good spot. Hope for the best
No, I don’t feel you’re being unreasonable. He doesn’t like period sex, ok fine. But he shouldn’t expect you to get him off while he’s unwilling to help you get off too. I think the problem is him making it seem like his sexual needs are more important than yours. It sounds like you both need to communicate better, actually talk through this and find out why he suddenly changed his mind, and also explain your feelings on his sexual expectations during your period.
Honestly imo if he’s just not down for it he’s not, and the same goes for you. Relationships are on some level transactional, there’s a give and take involved. Of course, they aren’t PURELY transactional, but it’s helpful to look at things from that standpoint sometimes. In this case, you’re asking for something that he’s no longer willing to provide, and in return you have every right to withhold something as a result. I suggest sitting down with him and talking about it regardless. Maybe you two need to impose a “no sex on my period” rule, and create a clearer understanding around it. As everyone else has said, communication is key.
Something tells me he never really liked period sex though. Could be wrong.
I guess not everyone is into blood sports eh
You could have him massage your clit while you’re wearing a tampon / mooncup or similar and you’re blowing him, that way you both get something out of it, considering your attitude seems that you’ll not do anything unless you get something out of it, where partner satisfaction is satisfying in itself.
As others have said, communication is important 🙂
Totally normal boundary.
Well, at least he asked and not told you/made you do it.
I’ll probably get shit for this but imo not everything has to be an eye for an eye. Some people get off by pleasing their partners.
If a person loves giving bj’s then periods don’t even matter. In your case you could be kinky and say that you want extra head after the period or just communicate that it’s unfair if you don’t like it.
Good
Where is your orgasm? You don’t get one you’re on your period. Every woman in the world gets that. Does that mean he doesn’t get one too? If you’re keeping score then sure.
It’s fine if he doesn’t want to have period sex. However, that doesn’t mean you owe him a blowjob or a handjob, either. Maybe you guys just don’t have sex of any kind during your period.
You had sex during your period before. I don’t see any reason it should suddenly change. I would address this with him.
Perhaps he has an ovitation to the blood. If you crave the physicalness of lovemaking, you could offer him your butt? It takes some warming up to be ready for anal sex, but it’s worth it. That’s way you could use a tampon and he could make love to you in the backdoor.
Yeah my kids mom was into that, but me nope, couldn’t take, couldn’t stomach it. And I understand that you’re at a high point with your hormones during that time. Probably try a rinse right before, and go for it.
It’s fair for him to say no to period sex. It’s fair for him to request for a blowjob or handjob but if you say no, that’s the final verdict. Respect each other’s boundaries
I love giving blowjobs when I’m on my period but that’s because I don’t like period sex and I also like doing something for him because sex is off the table.
Sex in the shower is a fun option.
Or give him a bj while wearing cute panties and let him use a vibrator on a high setting through the panties.
You’re not unreasonable to ask for sex.
He’s not unreasonable in refusing if he doesn’t feel like it.
It’s weird that he’s asking for a blowjob. To me this means that he’s not really thinking sex through as something you’re both doing together. He sees it as something that he does TO you, rather than WITH you.
Do it in the shower. Clean up isn’t really an issue that way since you are already there.
I don’t think you’re being unreasonable though I’m kind of hit or miss with period sex. It depends on how my symptoms are but I know he doesn’t mind it at all. He won’t come right out and ask for it but we have talked in the past about me still honoring his libido even if I’m not in the mood to be taken care of. It’s not an expectation it’s just an understanding that it’s nice to feel wanted and desired even if the other person isn’t interested in full blown sex. So it shouldn’t be a negative tit for tat but maybe you could have the conversation about him also just poppin in to take care of only you without expecting it lead to him getting off
Maybe the blood has a smell or freaks him out? I’d say maybe just invest in a sex toy so that you’re taken care of and can pleasure him as well if he treats you well and deserves it
Best of luck <3
I understand guys not being into period sex on a hookup/new relationship, but after 5 years? After 5 years nothing like that should disgust him, and it’s not even disgusting. I’m in a 5 year relationship as well and we crossed that “ew gross blood” bridge years ago. Don’t do anything for him on your period if he’s gonna be immature towards you like this.
To be fair, if his penis was leaking blood, you probably wouldn’t want to mess with it. Especially for those people who faint when they see blood, and can’t help it. A lot of guys are super turned off by that, like to a huge degree. I understand your frustration though, it really does suck that girls have to bleed a week out of every month. God really fucked us humans over in that sense.
Edit: I forgot to mention, he probably shouldn’t be asking for handjobs. That is kind of a dick move.
I really don’t think he’s that unreasonable. Some people are very squeamish about blood in general, also some diseases are bloodborne and that’s something that they should be allowed to say no to without being shamed if they don’t consent to that
I’ve always been honest and mentioned if I’m on or spotting a bit and leave it up to them whether they want to decline or not. My preference is to avoid it if I’m fully on but if its very light I’m fine with it