As the title says I hate all my partners friends. My partner and I have been together for years and I knew most of their friends beforehand as well. I dont like any of them, and I know this for sure because I have met them multiple times. My partners friends are irresponsible people who go against every one of my values. Their friends are what I would consider alcoholics, they drink multiple days a week, and black out half those times. They also participate in hookup culture often and amongst others in the friendgroup. My partner is Nonbinary and their friend group consists of males and females. My partner is easily influenced so they end up dragging my partner to clubs and bars, and houseparties. These are enviroments which neither me or my partner feel comfortable in, but since thats the only way my partners friends like to hang out my partner always gets dragged into it. I dont appreciate having to deal with the annoyance from my partner in the following days on how much they hated the party enviroment. When i suggest maybe not going to begin with my partner blows me off as thats the only way they can hang out with their friends. Let me also note their friends have said some cruel things to me in the past ( making fun of my mental health issues). I have told my partner all this and they have told me to just forgive.
So I came here to ask how I can prevent my partners interactions with friends from getting under my skin. I dont feel comfortable telling my partner they are forbidden from hanging out with their friends but it annoys me knowing they are in enviroments which go directly against my moral values, and their friends being cruel to me as well.
1 comment
Personally, I won’t date anyone who I don’t like their best friend, as it indicates there’s an aspect of their personality that’s huge to them that I’m likely not okay with since this is their best friend. But this is all of their friends. And you claim your partner is uncomfortable in these situations, seemingly because you are, yet they are in these situations voluntarily. Your partner seems to be scapegoating their friends for the choices they are making. And you’re allowing them to shirk responsibility. The question is are you okay with your partner and their actions? Seems clear the answer is no, and it seems clear the indication that this was a major problem for you was years ago when you learned that you didn’t like the aspect of your partner’s personality that is presented around their friends. Look at the pertinent question: can you continue to be with your partner given what you’ve learned about how they choose to conduct so much of their life, and that they choose to blame others for their actions?