Has anybody else experienced losing more friends as you soon as you entered your mid twenties?
I feel extra lonely, having spent two years indoors(thanks to covid and my career choice that requires me to study all day long while my peers have moved on with their lives and already minting money).
Each one of my few remaining friends either lives in a different city or has a job and prefers to spend spare time with their partner or already has a friend group where they are all living close proximity. Most of my friends live at least 45min-1hour away from me. I don’t have a group that lives nearby and that meets regularly. I let go of certain people as I realised I had to stop running after them. I also got out of a long term relationship of 3 years, 7 months ago. So some days, like this day, I feel utterly alone. I might call 5 friends and only 1/2 would actually call back. Some call back a week or even a month later without any text as to why they couldn’t pick up( just tell me that you’re busy, that’s all I ask for :)) and some won’t ever call me first on their own. It’s always me calling people.
Most people my age are working and living independent lives whereas I have been working towards a goal that gives rewards with much patience.
It sucks to not be on anyone’s priority list. I used to be a big time people pleaser. Have gotten better at it as I realised that people are really shitty and selfish. And that’s the reason why I’ve let go of people, knowing I’d be alone.
Is there any scope to make new friends in life after you’ve hit 25 years?
How do you cope with your loneliness?
Anyone experiencing the same, kindly share here. I’m all ears 🙂
1 comment
There’s a HUGE scope, but so many things are up to chance. I can share my experience, and maybe you can find some parallels to yours.
In short — I used to be a big time music nerd all through middle school and high school. I completely disconnected from music-making when I was around 16, and nearing a decade later I’m getting back into it after becoming interested in the DJ scene in my city. I’m no DJ, but the DJ friends I was slowly making always talk about music so passionately, listen with so much dedication, that I kinda inspired me to go back to making music. Fast forward a few months, I go to most of their events and I’m increasingly more connected with music, aside from having now made a handful of really good friends, whom I have a lot of fun with.
Lots of folks, including myself, finally find the independence to try / focus on something creative in their mid 20s or early 30s — when they’ve been out of school and working for a bit. Luckily for ppl like you and I, most creative practices involve some level of community interaction, and most ppl who willingly participate in a creative community, and knowledge-share, and host events etc. are cool, caring people. Still some assholes around, obviously, but those are everywhere.
Hopefully this helps.