I didn’t have an emotionally open family so am curious what others do or have seen to keep emotional lines open in families. I recently heard of a dad that used to have a vulnerable round table discussion weekly to amongst the family to keep the family open and connected. I’ve heard of game night ideas to find family time but curious what else is out there.
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Whenever a family member is pregnant, we all get together and help birth the baby.
Are you asking as a parent?
I agree that family time is really important. Fun shared activities (whether it’s game night or watching a movie together, or playing sports, or going for walks, etc.)
Otherwise, this isn’t a ritual, but really just…try to create a safe psychological environment.
* Don’t punish your kids, reason with them.
* Don’t force them to do things that make them uncomfortable (e.g. forcing an introverted kid into a lot of social activities, forcing hugs on a kid who doesn’t like them, forcing a kid to play your favorite sport when they’re not into it, etc.) but do encourage them to at least try – and expose them to – many different things and activities, so they can figure out what they do want and who they are.
* Whenever they express an interest in something, provide them with the opportunity to try it (to the best of your ability) no matter how silly you think it is or how unlikely they are to stick to it.
* Do feel free to argue and disagree and be honest about your opinions, but make it clear that your kids are free to do so as well (that you want to change their mind, but they are free to try and change yours in turn) and that your love is not conditional on you coming to an agreement (e.g. allow your kid to be vegetarian if you’re not and vise versa, allow them to watch cartoons even if you think cartoons are stupid, allow them to hold different opinions about controversial topics like religion/politics/sexuality, etc.)
* Whenever they express a genuine concern, take it seriously – try to comfort and reassure them, talk through it with them, and give them considerate advice – even if you think it’s irrational.
I tried being honest with my dad once….
A mixture of quality and quantity time, both structured and unstructured that doesn’t put people in a defensive position.
– Sharing meals without screens.
– Family wrestling time. Of course, you age out of this.
– Gratitude (prayer) circle in the evening.
– Working in the yard or around the house on a shared project.
– Mutually shared curiousity about others inner and outer worlds. You model this early and then train them by inviting them to ask the same questions. I have to be careful not to troubleshoot unless invited.
– Movie night with some discussion about the themes.
– If your family can handle it, argue. Knowing that I can disagree with family and know they’ve got my back is awesome.
– Co-creating with family members. Just finished playing 🔥🔥🔥*Extreme Dragon Battle Royale*🔥🔥🔥
Well, those are some small examples. In the end, making people feel safe to be around you and enjoying the family’s journey.
Eating together. Sitting down at the same table. Everyone talks.
Shared activities are important. I think it’s important too to make sure you get good one-on-one time with each parent/kid combo. Make sure you’re getting into the kids’ world and things they enjoy when you do.
We use table topics cards at dinner. Usually go through a few of them. Gets a conversation going.
There’s an Alabama joke that could be made…
Aside from that, unplug… go camping, or just sit down at family meals together and talk..
Volunteer together. We all do pet therapy at the local hospital with our dog.