so i met this girl at work and i never really talked to her much, only some jokes etc. i am really shy with girls in general but i consider myself ok-good looking and i had relationships before and a lot of wild things on my life, so its not like im new to dating in general.
​
One night that the working crew went on a party she went allin on me and i fell for her and ended up having sex the same night. After that i went home and we started texting eachother until we met up some days after to talk about everyhting that happened and know her more, because i really didn’t know her.
So what happens? date by date i start having a feeling like ive never had before, turns out i think i am falling in love.
What is the problem then? Althrough the conversation goes really fluid and when we meet up there’s no problem really, i feel like i am the one allways trying to do plans and trying to do things with her.
​
I have the feeling that i am a lot more into her than her into me, i talked about it with her and she told me that she needs more time to know me more and she wouldnt mind starting a relationship, its just she wants more time spent with me. After we talked about that the conversations have been quite stuck this week, i feel like we are talking about the same things and work related stuff, and i am waiting that she makes a move, because i feel like ive given enough and idk i feel kinda lost.
​
TL;DR after a night she went allin on me i fell in love with her and after some texting we have good convos but i feel like i am the one making the plans etc, and that i am more into her that she is into me. What should i do?
1 comment
> i feel like ive given enough
Okay. Then pack up the tent. Take the carnival to the next city.
Even if it’s not a “RELATIONSHIP” it’s still a “relationship” for you. If you’re not getting what you need out of it, you can bail.
That being said…
Two people being at the exact same stage of affection for one another is not as common as you think. A LOT of relationships are basically games of catchup. Take a stroll through this subreddit and you’ll find a pile of people lamenting over not getting a proposal. Or they worry they said “I love you” too soon.
Being out of sync is common. Just because you are already getting major feeling for her does not mean her lack of love for you makes this all bullshit.
Also, even when she DOES have feelings for you, it’s entirely possible you’re still going to have to be the engine that keeps the conversation moving. I’ve seen plenty of years-in relationships where one person has to work harder at it than the other. That’s just how it goes.
Again though, you don’t have to wait forever for her to catch up. Figure out how long you’re willing to wait and do what you have to do. You also don’t have to be “the engine” if you don’t want to be. That just means finding someone else.