I (21M) matched with a cute girl (20F) on Tinder two days ago. I was a little busy that day so I didn’t text her until next day.
I tried to have a nice conversation and get to know her but she was replying with the iconic one word replys. None of her replies had more than 4 words. She was also replying after 20-30 minutes while I’d reply in a maximum of 5 minutes. Basically she was acting completely uninterested.
What I don’t understand is why did she even bother to swipe right on me if she was going to act like this ? I don’t get it. Did she lose attraction and interest in less than 24 hours ? Was she playing hard-to-get (I hate this) ?
I just realised she wasn’t interested and I just stopped texting her. I tried to have a nice conversation with her but it felt more like an interrogation because she’d barely answer my questions and wouldn’t ask any in return.
Why are some people like this ?
3 comments
Lost interest, found other people, misclick, tired of apps, many reason and more.
You need to change your perspective and see it from her side. While for you matches might be scarce, so you are very happy getting a match and being able to start a conversation, for her, you are just one of hundreds of matches she gets in a week. Matching you is not like finding the prince she has always dreamt of. It’s a “you get to the second round” and if anything happens with you completely depends on how many other matches are keeping her busy at the time, how you rank compared to the other matches in desirability and how your conversation goes compared to what other options for conversations she has.
Getting an answer to “how was your day”, even if it’s just 4 words can be seen as “dude, you have to realize such a boring conversation is not going to cut it when other men text me really interesting things and engage in opening up and bonding over jokes and shared stories. I will not unmatch you right away, but i am not putting any effort into this, unless my situation changes or you outcompete other conversations”.
>I tried to have a nice conversation and get to know her but she was replying with the iconic one word replys.
I can tell from how you worded this, that your conversation is dry as fuck. Open ended questions can’t be answered by one word replies, and good open ended questios can’t be shortly answered.
Instead of asking “so what are you studying?” -> “psychology”
or “why did you start studying psychology” -> “i like it”
try something like: “You know how the stereotype for psychology students goes, right? What do you think, since most studies are done on students just because they are cheap and available, what wrong assumptions do we have about the general public, just because of the stereotype bias in the study population?”
If she answers “i don’t know”, you can just unmatch her.
This is my perspective as a man:
Ill swipe for a few days and get a few matches and quit swiping. As im talking to my matches it is inevitable that a few more will trickle in. People I swiped on a while ago. I typically dont engage with them because ive got other irons in the fire at that point, or if they do message me im not really trying to make conversation because at this point im not interested in another potential. It pays to be active if you are going to go the route of OLD. Profiles that are newer or just created are more likely to be active and end with actual dates. Responding promptly tends to get more traction.