hey guys, 22M here. I’ve been going to a dentist for some dental work. It’s a long-ass procedure so i’ll skip the details. There’s a doctor’s assistant there who I saw and Idky but I admire her. Like she’s really pretty and caring and gives a fun person vibe.I guess she might be 2-3 years older than me but idc honestly. We haven’t talked but have waved and smiled whenever we see each other and have done small talk once only. I want to get to know her more.
Suprisingly yesterday, her instagram popped on my feed and I sent her a follow request and slept. By the time I woke up, she hadn’t accepted it and I feel as if I have crossed a line,that maybe I fucked up and it was a bad decision. I unsent the request thinking that after all, she is my dentist. My next appointment is in 2 days and i feel like it is going to be weird af seeing her IF she had seen my request. I don’t know what to do now,any suggestions and criticsm on my actions would be nice.
8 comments
Yeah you have slim to zero chances here my dude. At a medical facility she’s definitely not going to flirt or entertain a patient/customer. Your interest is basically face value, with little inclination that interest is reciprocated, so If I were you, just go there, say hi, don’t be awkward and keep it moving. If she accepts the request, you can talk to her and see if she’s single, interested in talkin on some level and go from there. Oh I just saw you unsent the request. Ummm yeah, just say hi and keep it moving
Step 1: Get a new dentist. She has ethics training that says she’s not allowed to date patients. By asking her out and simultaneously being her patient, you would be putting her and her career in a very awkward position, so awkward that you’re likely to get told, “No.” This professional boundary is likely why she hasn’t added you back on IG.
Step 2: Acknowledge that the charms that have won you over are basic kindness and professionalism, and then, further acknowledge that you may actually have no idea who she is because she’s been interacting with you while wearing a professional mask, yes, even when you’re out in public and she’s off the clock. Even when a professional is off the clock, they’re still going to be kind to their clients out in public — being rude would lose business.
Step 3: Assess how to approach her from the perspective that she’s actually a complete stranger to you.
She’s literally just doing her job by being nice to you, and you’re taking that and creating some kind of fantasy in your head. Just let her work without creepy clients wanting to ask her out.
Here’s how flirting works in a professional environment. If she hit you up like…requests your Instagram, etc. then slides in your DMS. It’s a go but with caution. Women don’t get in hot water for that shit, men do. The boats sunk because you requested it.
“Don’t shit where you eat” would apply here.
It was inappropriate to reach out to her. She was being nice to you because she is paid to do so and you probably put her in a very uncomfortable position. When you go in, pretend it never happened unless she brings it up (she won’t).
Don’t
I have a bit different opinion from others because even though the chance might be near zero there is always a slight chance that she might say yes, although I honestly think not approaching is an “appropriate” thing to do in this situation. But before making any move you might wanna have more conversation with her that is more than just surface-level to get to know her better. And if you are going to ask her out, make sure that you are ok not to come back to the same dentist ever if she rejects you, and approach her in the least uncomfortable way possible…
I’ve recently asked my female barber out that I’ve had a crush on for a long time. During the checkout I gave her my business card with my number and a short message on it that said I want to take her out sometime. I knew that she was being nice to me because that’s part of her job, but I was stupid enough to have a little bit of hope that she would say yes. And sure enough, I got rejected, but at least I felt relieved to know the answer and I don’t regret my decision. And yes, I’m not going to the same barber again and she knows about it because that’s what I wrote on the card.