I (32F) feels that my BF(30M) female friend (30F) crosses boundaries. He believes there is nothing wrong.

I saw another poster post a similar situation with their SO female friend so I thought I shared mine or at least get it off my chest. If I am wrong then tell me…But I feel like I am validated in some sense.

His female friend, we can call her S, has been friends with him since middle/high school. He has a lot of friends both female and males but S is the one that bothers me the most and I have yet to meet her in person yet. We’ve been dating for a bit over a year now and she has been a problem since we officially started dating. I have no problems with his other friends, males and females.

It started off with him hanging out with her after work for walks. I always found out on the car ride home when he called me that he was going out to meet her. At this time we’ve only been going out for a short period of time and I did live 45 minutes away and have children but, never once did he even offered to invite me so I can meet her. This went on for weeks until I started to go over his house when he got home from work the few days off I had from work to spend time with him. (At this time he worked M-F and I have a crazy nursing schedule so I don’t get every weekend off) So at this point I only got to see him every other week, so I made time to spend more time with him and when I did the time spent with her stopped.

Things were going fine, he hung out with his friends, S included, and there was no problem until around this time last year. My BF and his friends went to a bar near his house. I told him the usual “Have fun, be safe” and got my self ready for my long shift the next day. He calls me about 1am and he is clearly walking, I automatically assume the worst but he told me he was just walking to get S car as he brought her to his house since she was too drunk to walk. I was fuming and even more so when I did not see that he called me before doing this. I waited until the next day to get all the details and I did flip out on him. Apparently they were drinking and S stated she was drunk but wanted to go to another bar with the group so they all went. S told my BF that she was not going to drink anymore yet continued drinking. Everyone started to leave the second bar yet she didn’t leave with her girl friends or any of the other couples, It was my BF that somehow became responsible for her. I was even more mad when I found out she lived 15 minutes away from his house and he could of brought her home. He did admit that he was in the wrong in the scenario. And I admit it was better than letting her drive drunk. I told him I felt that her actions were intentional because she continued drinking knowing my BF is a caring soul. I told him I did not care for S and would rather him keep his distance and stay away from her, to which he “agreed”.

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He continued hanging out with his friends every so often. Mind you, I have never met any of his friends in person….which I did question him about but as adults, we have different schedules and busy lives. But recently I asked when was the last time he saw S. He told me he saw S a few weeks ago and that S is always at every meet up. I was hurt that he omitted to me and in a way lied. So I went looking for pictures at the places he told me they were hanging out and found pictures of S right on top of him and “all over him”. They look more like a couple that we do and a few of my friends who I showed the pictures too thought it was before we started dating. I confronted him with the pictures and he claimed that “It is not what it seems” or “we’ve always done that” which compared to before, she never did when he was single. Now S didn’t know that I didn’t know she was there so I feel like she knew I would eventually see the pictures. Most recently he told me he was going to this small hang out spot with two of his guy friends, K and R and his friend K was not even there, it was S.

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Now my trust in him is zero to none and I really need know if I am in the wrong or am I justify with my anger with this girl. I did tell him to cut her out of his life because I feel like she is constantly crossing the lines of boundary in our relationship and this is not the first time he has done it. Now it could be a cultural thing as my family are immigrants and raise me a lot differently than how he was raised. He claims he will change and cut her out but he “can’t completely cut her out” because he wants to hang out with his other friends but he will create distance. But I feel like its too late to for that as he should of done it the first time.

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TLDR; BF friend, pushes the boundaries, he lied about her being there in a group setting, and making me feel like I am wrong in feeling the way I feel.