I am always there for my bf. Always. I could be dying, and I’d still walk miles to hold him if hes sad. He lies a lot. And i always forgive him. Maybe not really, cuz i always think about it afterwards, and it hurts me. But i never tell him about it cuz i dont want him to hurt as i do. I protect him with all my heart. I love him. He is friends with a girl who i dont like, and she dont like me.She talked shit about me a week ago, and my bf told me today, and used it against me in a fight. Then i said something mean about her, he called me a “bad person”.. i just don’t understand how he could say that. It feels like such a backstabbing thing to do, i am very sad. I am always by his side, but if i defend myself from a person talkng shit about me, im a “bad person”?.. idk i just needed to get this out. Now i told him i dont wanna be with him unless he blocks her everywhere. I feel like a b”itch.. am i going too far with this?
5 comments
You are being abused and you should dump him
The main problem is that you put your soul in this relationship and he really don’t care. If you love a person you don’t lie to her, is a simple rule. Then what i think is way worse he let this girl talk awful about you and they continue to be friends. If someone says something bad about my Gf i will leave in the next moment, but he didn’t do that and continued the friendship which show he don’t care about you and your feelings. You love him you are always there for him but he do nothing of that. This relationship seem to be sick and not healthy so you should give up on it as fast as possible. You give this guy way to many chances and he never learn.
Dump him.
In relationships it’s often not about what you express but how you express it. You can be standing on the mountain of right and still be an asshole, and be wrong for being an asshole. Trust me I’ve been there.
I don’t think you are wrong for not liking the girl or thinking she is bad news or toxic or a bitch. You aren’t wrong for not wanting your boyfriend to spend time alone with another woman, let alone one who talks about you behind your back to him. But how one expresses their concerns to their partner is important for a healthy relationship.
Example: Your boyfriend tells you this girl was talking shit about you. He brought it up probably because he agrees it’s wrong and was messed up and wanted you to know.
You responded with something like “Well she’s a bitchy, flappy used fish market! Fuck her!” Your feelings were valid, the way you expressed it was rude.
Instead use an I statement: “I feel hurt and disrespected by the fact that your friend said that about me, and you didn’t put a stop to it. Out of respect for me, I’d prefer if you didn’t spend time with people who disrespect me.”
“Hey we are together, and I feel hurt by the fact that your friend talks about me, and it makes me uncomfortable that you hang out with her alone without me being there to defend myself when she says those things about me.”
>He lies a lot. And i always forgive him.
You should stop doing that.