Hey! When I was very young (6 years old) I had to move out of my home country. Back then I spoke to a girl who i liked. Recently, (3 or so months ago) we reunited and she said she used to like me. We have a long history so hearing her say that hurt a lot. I just feel like the fact she felt comfortable telling me that means that she doesnt like me anymore, it feels bad because the fact she doesn’t like me anymore means I’m worse looking or something right?
Anyways this has got me down a cycle of depression so I am here to ask a few questions on what to do now
1. Will the feelings eventually go away if I stop talking to her?
2. How do I move on?
3. Do I still have a chance even if she said she used to like me?
Thank you
3 comments
Hey so there’s a couple things here. Need more information on how well yall know each other now. If she said she used to like you that just her expressing old feelings. I assume years have passed and she might not know you well now. Yet since she told you that, it could be seen as a positive where she’s shyly saying she wants to get to know you better.
Besides that. Yes feeling will go away, sooner than later if you break contact again. The sooner you can identify why you liked her and come to terms with it the sooner you can move on. That really truly the only way to move on.
I don’t think her not liking you anymore is necessarily caused by the current you. Perhaps she already has someone else she likes or you’re simply not her type. Anyway, to answer your questions, 1. The feelings will go away. It’s a good idea to stop talking to her if you want to move on. If you keep her around you will keep being reminded of this painful truth.
2. You move on by going “no contact” for an indefinite period. Stop talking to her. Otherwise she will remain on your mind. Occupy yourself with other friends, girls, hobbies or work so you will tune her out and not think about her so much.
3. Possibly. She didn’t explicitly say she doesn’t like the current you. That is your assumption. You could flirt with her and try it out. If she rejects you you will know for sure. Anyway, it’s good to go for it. Otherwise you might end up with regrets. Try it out. If she doesn’t like you you will know you’ve done your best and can move on without a worry.
Your health is the most important, maybe look into meditation for those restless nights. I would say, feeling at 6 years old is generally different than feeling at 17. I would say you need to decide what you want. If you want to be friends then leave it at that, if your thinking you’d prefer possibly a romantic relationship, then you need to get to know the young woman she is now, just like she needs to get to know the young man you are now. You’ve both grown and possibly changed since you were 6. Identifying what you would like to happen will allow you to set a “goal” and work towards it. It will also help in talking with her, if she was to say something like she wants to be friends or she was hoping for a relationship. You would know what you want and could properly convey that to her.