tldr at the bottom *
my best friend of 2 years, lets call him arnie, planned a trip for us this upcoming october. i was down to go, because we’re going to canada and i’ve always wanted to go. but recently he got a gf.
his gf is rly nice, but from what i’ve heard from him she seems a little insecure because of him. they’ve been talking for nearly a year now and i still haven’t met her. i honestly don’t think she’s met any of his friends but arnie constantly hangs out with hers.
since we’ve talked about this trip before, he told me he mentioned it to her already and she was fine with it. but the idea of just us two going, makes me uncomfortable, because i don’t feel like im respecting her. i told him if we were going we would have to switch off using the bed and couch every night, to which he said “it’s fine we’ll sleep on opposide sides” which i still think is a little sus.
i want to cancel, because i don’t think it’s okay for me to go on this trip w him alone. he tells me their relationship is casual but i saw her vsco and she posts about him a lot. so i don’t think it’s as casual as he’s making it out to be. i know i could also invite her but i really don’t want to be a third wheel, i would much rather have just them go tbh 💀
TIA!
tldr: best friend of 2 yrs wants to go on a trip, just us, but he has a girlfriend and i am having conflicting feelings
6 comments
I wont lie, if I was his girlfriend I would feel uncomfortable with the situation. If you don’t feel good about it then simply speak up, or make sure to meet the girl beforehand and see how she genuinely feels.
It sounds like you’re not comfortable with it and that’s reason enough to not go.
Well at least youre the cool female friend and recognize this for being weird.
Coming from personal experience, the guy friend wants you. No matter how many times he may say he has a “girlfriend” or that the both of you are “platonic” this seems too fishy, sorry to say
Yep I think the guy friend wants you for sure. The girlfriend probably isn’t as cool about it as he says she is.
Why don’t you ask to meet her? His response will let you know how weird he’s being about it.
>to which he said “it’s fine we’ll sleep on opposide sides”
He’s going to try to sleep with you at some point. Especially if he’s saying they’re just “casually dating”. Officially dating is officially dating. It’s an exclusionary choice. There’s nothing “casual” about it.
I know I said this already in a reply to one of your replies to a comment, but don’t go on this trip. When he asks why, tell him you don’t feel comfortable because it’s disrespectful to his girlfriend.
It doesn’t matter if she’s okay with it. You’re not. The end.