My baby boy (1M) had his 1st birthday party a couple of weekends ago and there were a handful of people who RSVP’d and didn’t show up. We rented out a club house and decided how much food to serve, cake size, based on the RSVPs, as anyone would. We waited to get the party started on some of these people because we expected them. I (31F) am pretty angry about it. 2 people (Fs late20s) now have reached out through text after the fact and asked what he wants so they can send a gift. But the best gift would have been the quality time of the party and I don’t want their apology gifts. And frankly I don’t want so called friends in my son’s life who are flakes. I’m also the type of person to text that out to these people verbatim which I know is probably wrong and is why so far I have just ignored them. Do I just say “no thank you”? Do I tell them what to buy my son and accept a gift? I’m at a loss.
Friendship wise, I’m 31 with a family and don’t really care or have the time to be friends with people who who suck. They have flaked on me before which was whatever but flaking on my son for something formal-ish where they RSVPd is different.
Also one of these friends (F 27) said she was going to help decorate too, as early as 4 hours before the party and texted me 3 hours later saying she wasn’t coming at all. So yeah she let me know beforehand but WTF.
TL;DR: Friends RSVP’d to birthday party and didn’t show. Now want to send gifts.
3 comments
Did they offer some legit excuse like they tested positive for Covid or something? Something?? That’s super rude and I get your frustration on a few levels.
If these are friendships you are remotely interested in salvaging I’d talk in person about how deeply this hurt you and see if they understand and offer any sort of apology. If you feel done with them it’s up to you on how you want to handle it. If that’s the case I’d just say “he’s good on gifts but thanks for the offer” since the last thing you want to do is be on the hook for a thank you note!
I’m sorry this happened and hope your little one had a fun day!
What type of friends are they? Long time family friends? Work friends? Casual friends you met recently? Do they have young children as well?
I’m not excusing their behavior – if they knew they won’t make it, they should’ve let you know. I’m just wondering about the type of friendships you have with them because in my experience, the only people who would want to attend the 1 year olds birthday party are close family…
Unfortunately, it’s really common that people won’t be where they said they would be. I don’t hold it against people or have some confrontation, I just don’t make any more plans with them if that happens more than once or twice. They naturally become more like acquaintances, and I gravitate to people who are actually reliable adults.