I’m 26M. I’ve been a pretty shy guy for most my life and as a result of that I haven’t had the most wild sex live.
It’s not that I never had sex. It’s that when I did, it meant a lot to me. Was usually with a committed partner. And generally I prefer to keep things a bit more vanilla lol.
The girls I’ve dated in the past however, weren’t the same. I think coz I wasn’t the most outgoing I’d date VERY outgoing girls coz they were the only ones that would get involved lol. They haven’t tended to be the worst looking either so had decent options before me.
The problem with this is that I’ve always felt really inadequate. The thought of them having been with other people makes me feel incredibly anxious. I feel like I’m not good enough and probably the worst bit for me is that I feel like I can’t relate to them.
They’d have had wild holiday hookups. Threesomes in college. They had all the stories. And unfortunately the last girl I was with decided to tell me all these stories, in detail, while I was in bed with her. Which honestly kinda traumatised me a bit lol.
Ever since then I’ve had real issues with sex. I avoid it. It just makes me feel anxious all the time and I don’t enjoy it. I don’t like talking about it. I don’t like hearing about it. And it kinda sucks. Coz it’s something I’d like to have without all this horrible anxiety around it.
Honestly it kinda ruins all my relationships now.
Has anyone else ever experienced similar. Or got advice? Thanks
Tl;dr feel ashamed of my past and it ruins my sex life
4 comments
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You are immature. I mean come on. Look at the amount of Reddit accounts you have created. Instead of being an adult and seeing therapy or professional help for your issues. Getting accounts banned numerous times not a hint to maybe try seeking help in the real world. You post about your problems but genuinely, what have you done to get help for them. All you do is come on here and think of another problem. It’s a non stop cycle with you. Grow up.
You’re going to have to accept the fact that everyone has a past. Just because they have a more colorful sex past doesn’t mean that you’re any less worthy as a person.
These thoughts that you’re having are self-fulfilling prophecies. You think you’re boring when it comes to sex, and therefore you become boring when it comes to sex.
It doesn’t really matter what people have done in the past. If she’s with you now and wants to be with you, the best way to screw that up is to constantly be bringing up her past and how you feel inadequate.
Nobody wants to be with a needy Debbie Downer with no confidence.
If it makes you feel insecure, then just stop discussing it with your partners? If they bring it up just say that you’d rather not talk about previous relationships or hookups, that it’s a personal boundary for you.
I get that it’s an uncomfortable topic and can make people feel inadequate. But I mean, you can easily just not bring it up.