Tonight for example, I went to this bar nearby just to pick up a 6-pack. I knew they were about to close and saw they were putting the chairs on the tables inside, so I wasn’t sure if they were closed yet or not. There was some guy standing outside, I thought he may have been a bouncer or something, so I asked “hey, do you work here?” and he just shook his head. And I don’t know why but my brain froze up right there, I didn’t know what to say after he shook his head. I wanted to say “oh, sorry” but I then stopped myself halfway through and ended up saying “oh, that’s…good…”. And then he gave me the weirdest expression like there must be something fucked up about me and I felt so humiliated and embarrassed.
And then even when buying the 6-spack, the bartender handed back my card and said “have a good night”. I had a “thanks, you too” at the ready, but then she handed me my receipt just as I was about to say it, and I got sidetracked, and I ended up being like “tha-…..uhhh, oh. You too?” and then got out of there as fast as I could.
I really hate it when this happens, it’s like as soon as I open my mouth, my mental capacity goes down like 80 percent. It makes me scared to talk to anyone or have conversations because I always slip up and say something dumb or confusing that doesn’t make any sense. And sometimes I end up literally confusing people because of my bad word choice in the moment. It’s like I don’t know what to say, and my brain is scrambling and panicking trying to find the right phrases. Anyone else struggle with this?
4 comments
Basically you’re socially anxious. I suffer from that too though not as bad as you although there has been times where I’ve said something that makes no sense and in my head I think, “wtf was that?!?” For me it only happens with strangers and people I don’t know well enough.
This may sound a little off the wall, but you might think about learning public speaking. It is actually not that hard to do and it will give you more confidence in all speaking situations. Look up a toastmasters club near you online (there are thousands of them). Then attend one session. See what you think.
I relate to this a lot, I have no advice but I know it’s not just you
I relate to this so much, it actually drove me into hard drug addiction
Therapy can help, you need to find the source of your insecurities and find a way to get better at it