I want to know how I can stop having a hard time saying no to other people. In my life, I have a very hard time saying no to others. I feel like I don’t wanna hurt other people’s feelings so I have a hard time saying no to others. I want to know how I can stop having a hard time doing this and just be able to say this word without worrying about the other person.
I would like to know how I can become more assertive as well. For example, I had a job interview and I had three interviews on zoom in one day. All of the interviews were in a 30-minute time slot and they were scheduled right after the last one. The first interview went over 30 minutes. Rather than being assertive and telling the guy that I had another interview to get to I stayed and talked to him for another five minutes and it carried over into my other interview.
I would like to know how I can be more assertive in situations like these and be able to tell someone that I have something to get to as well as in other situations where I need to be assertive.
Also, I would like to know how I can say no to people and stop worrying about hurting other people’s feelings. How I can become more assertive as well to?
2 comments
The more you’ll say no and stay true to yourself the more you’ll become comfortable saying no in the future. You can’t live true to yourself if you are afraid to offend people.
So basically do the action (say No when you want to)
Don’t hesitate to say no .
And when the thoughts pop up about how you “hurt” their feelings or when you feel guilty , don’t focus on those thoughts and feelings , let them pass away . Don’t get attached to those thoughts.
You will have to get out of your comfort zone no shortcuts.
You’re not hurting other people’s feelings by saying no. Like in the case with interview, the person’s feelings wouldn’t be hurt if you said that you had another commitment. It’s not even creating an inconvenience to them. They literally wouldn’t think anything about it.
You THINK you’ll hurt their feelings based on co-dependent dynamics of your close relationships or upbringing. Because compliance was required as a sign of affection. Those are fucked up dynamics though and not to be used as a guide for dealing with people.