I (f20) feel like my boyfriend (m19) of 5 months has lost feelings for me, because of small things that he STOPPED doing, such as getting excited to see me or coming up with plans, he doesn’t call me as often or text me that he miss me whenever I’m gone for hours, not minding that we don’t talk or see each other much anymore because we both have become more busy everyday. The old him would always tell me he misses me and put extra effort to try and make time for me and stuff like that but now he acts like he doesn’t mind that we’re not together as much as we used to.
I know it’s normal for the spark to die after like 3-4 months, I know just because he doesn’t call and text me as often doesn’t mean he doesn’t love and care about me anymore, but these small things means alot to me and these small things is love too, and lately he hasn’t showed love in that way. He has become more cold too, whenever I tell him I love him and miss him he goes like ”me too” (instead of I love you more/the most or i miss you too baby like he used to) and sometimes when I tell him he’s soo cute he says ”no i’m just being normal why u call me cute all the time”.. for me these are signs that someone has lost feelings 😔 you guys might think I’m just exaggerating but trust me I notice these things
We both have talked about putting more effort and I told him I wish he would do all these things more, telling me he miss me and just acting more sweet like he did before even tho it should be natural but yeah communication is the key and I told him how I felt. He told me no i’m just overthinking, he hasn’t changed it’s all in my head but he will try his best to improve and make me happy.
I feel like he still hasn’t changed, and whenever I don’t feel prioritized or I feel like he’s dry (even if it’s not on purpose) I always tell him that I feel like he doesn’t care anymore and I ask him why he’s like this, it’s been happening almost everyday and everytime I tell him how I feel, he gets super defensive and annoyed and says ”omg nothing I say is ever enough for you you just gonna keep saying that I don’t care even tho I do, you complain too much everyday, why would you even beg me to do all these things? I do still care but even if a person doesn’t care anymore you still shouldn’t beg them because that’s really unattractive”
He has also said ”I have not done or said anything to make you sad holy shit if you say that I’m cold or dry again I will not care anymore because why would you even be sad are you just acting sad for attention? You want a reaction out of me or what?”
I felt like that was just straight up MEAN and he really doesn’t give a fuck anymore, he doesn’t care that I’m sad and I can’t even express my feelings to him or talk to him about everything anymore because he will just get mad and act even more cold.. like isn’t that ironic? Whenever I tell him I feel like he doesn’t care anymore he acts even colder and more dry to me and make everything worse.. I just don’t know what to do, is this my fault? He said the reason why he reacts like that is because I have been ”complaining” almost everyday, but it’s because he treats me like he doesn’t care so what else can I do then?
TL;DR my boyfriend treats me like he doesn’t care sometimes anbd he gets mad and even colder whenever I bring it up and acts even more like he doesn’t care
4 comments
Relationships can only work when the effort is going both ways. It’s already over in my opinion. Time for you to move on and find someone who actually cares.
So why are you wasting your time?
There are so many men in the world who are capable of loving you the way you want to be loved, but you won’t meet them if you’re hung up on a guy who won’t.
People tend to get defensive when you make assumptions of their actions and say things like “I feel you don’t care about me” and stuff.
I would focus on specific and not attribute meaning to them. So if you say “I love you” and he says “me too”, you can point it that he only says me too and doesn’t say it first anymore. Why is that.
As for your assumption that he had lost feelings, it’s best to go into a relationship assuming that if they want to be with you, they will. If they are not doing enough for you to feel loved specifically, you can tell them, but don’t assume it’s because they don’t care about you anymore.
I was feeling for you, but then you said gone for hours??????
Like he can’t get a whole day before he misses you adn texts you. 24 hours is to much? How many hours are we talking 16, 12, 8, 4???
Ok so getting back on point though, compatibility can be tough when young. You are still figuring so much out about yourself and this simply sounds like you are not compatible.